[mentholatum132]

I just finished reading the "How do you know when your bf/gf is still in to their ex?" post. I just realized, that after reading the responses, a lot of them fit my bf and I. I know that my bf and his ex don't text and see each other that much, but they have before. I remember before my boyfriend and i were dating, his ex began dating another guy and took him to bed within 2 weeks of their relationship. he was extremely upset about it at that time, but by the time we were dating, i thought he'd be over it already. last week, that topic came up again, and he still was worked up and angry about it. a couple days ago, his ex broke up with her bf and she called my bf out to talk about it and he went to meet up with her. they broke up on extremely bad terms (she began spreading rumours about him after the breakup), so i don't understand why, of all people, she had to call him and talk. and it beats me why he had to go talk to her. when he told me, he was relieved about the breakup and thought it was "about time that i that she dumped that mini cooper."

so, what do my fellow soompiers think? is he over her? or does he still have feelings for her?

[Trinity <3]

I would say he still has feelings for her, I wouldn't go out to meet and comfort my ex-bf if i didn't have feelings for him. Why would he care and tell those things to you? Why does he care at all? You need to confront him about this problem.

[visuelz]

I wouldn't ignite the match if I were you.

[perfect visual]

i think there's old feelings there... which really sucks... i'm sorry you're stuck in the middle :[

[ny-sw / ny_sw.]

sorry to say, it does sound really shady. :/
confront him and be like. dude wth? cause like. that's no good, why does he care who she's with?

[kRaZiExLaDiE]

idk.. something feels weird about that. sound shady... =.="
optimistically.. i would say they have some unfinished business b/t them. they probably need to clear out their bad ending to completely move on. i'm sure he really really likes (or love if you guys already said the word) you & would rather stay with you than to get back with her. relationship is all about communication if you feel uneasy about it.. maybe talk to him about it but yeah.. dont go too into it that it makes him rethink.

[krnshort1]

I don't think it's something you can control. He and his ex probably had a huge past, and I don't think you can do anything to change that. It takes time and a great deal amount of maturity for him to fully realize that he should completely move on from his past and realize that you might be the more precious gf to him.
She hurt him a lot with her actions, so I think just have faith in your man. Have faith that he will make his own decision in clearing up the mess in his mind and realizing that he needs to erase most of the memories he had with her.
Of course he will still care for her and that is why he probably was relieved when she broke up with him. He's just being a good guy.
However, if you still feel like his feelings for you and her are murky, I suggest you gently bring it up to him. Communication is very important. Guys will never know what their girl is thinking unless we bring it up to them.
GLUCK!

[x.3christine]

i think he still has feelings for his ex
they might be friends and what not but, the ex seems to be the type that would do and get whatever they want whenever
you guys should have a talk and sort out your feelings

[TVXQ_superjunior]

why dont you test him out? I know this is a lil rude to say so...

do you have an ex? if you do, then you can pretend that your ex called you out to talk just to see his reactions...
you can ask your best friend to call pretending to be your bf and ask you out...
then you go out for real, with your ex (your best friend obviously)
maybe when you get back, you can talk about "your ex and his problem"
to see how he reacts?

if he doesnt like what he hears, then ask him why is he so uptight about the whole situation
when he obviously goes out about his ex...

>.<" bad idea, i know but it's worth the try right?
if he really love and care for you, he would let her go... ^^

[Kanzen]

I would say he still has feelings for her, I wouldn't go out to meet and comfort my ex-bf if i didn't have feelings for him. Why would he care and tell those things to you? Why does he care at all? You need to confront him about this problem.

This.

[x SaRaNg HaE x]

Sounds like he still thinks about her, which isn't good for you.
The only way to put an end to those feelings is if he cuts all contact with her. He won't do it unless he really loves you though.

[AngelsWhisper]

he's obviously not over her. you should try talking to him and get him out somehow. she really doesn't sound like a good person. i'm sorry you're stuck this way, but good luck

[sus]

if u say they broke up on bad terms

n he went to go console her after the break up
thenn something is up

i mean if my bf did that ... hes disrespecting me... and knows i would get upset..so he shouldnt meet up with the ex

[SilkInfused]

so i don't understand why, of all people, she had to call him and talk. and it beats me why he had to go talk to her. when he told me, he was relieved about the breakup and thought it was "about time that i that she dumped that mini cooper."

Doesn't she have girlfriends to talk to, her immediate support system? She sounds as if she wants to crawl back to a former relationship that has somehow soothed itself out, so she can delay the harsh reality of the actual breakup... As for the unfinished business part, I really don't care how an ex and I broked up on "BAD TERMS", once a relationship is over, it's over. I wouldn't even want to think about carrying a friendship with the guy! -- Maybe that's a clue there. He probably wants a friendship, with some kind of secret overtones of their former relationship. This would be fine if they can patch things up... But the problem is, he has you as his girlfriend.


Also, I really don't like what he said. He makes you feel like you've disappeared as his girlfriend. Unless her boyfriend was abusive, maybe he should feel relieved. But there shouldn't be any open-door invitations for the cat or dog to come back home.

I'm not too keen on having exes seeking each other out for support unless there is proof they've seriously been LONG TIME friends. Maybe you should offer yourself to join the support group, rather than just solely him? This way you can still keep an eye on your boyfriend and she has the support of TWO people than one?

[emceej]

i think he still has feelings for her. i mean who would go back and even give a damn about a girl who started spreading rumors about you after a bad breakup? uhh...that says something right there. why don't you just ask him about it? good luck though.

[bonjour tristesse.]

If you're bothered by it so much, ask him yourself. Trust and honesty is the greatest principles of a relationship.

[klassikm3]

dang i'd hate that girl.

he's still into her. especially if he's relieved over the fact she broke up with her bf. so whats the status now? is he still talking to her? you should definately ask him about it.

[meiming8_1]

That sucks feeling insecure and jealous are the worst feelings. With my boyfriend, I was worried he was getting too close to one of his friends. When I found out other people were starting to think so as well, I talked to him about. I explained how I felt really calmly, so he could say whatever he wanted to me without worrying that I would explode at him, lol it really helped, we sorted out feelings out and everything was fine. Then it started again, I talked to him again, and it was fine. The problem with my boyfriend is, he's a very friendly, outgoing guy and he has a lot of girl friends. I'm also his first girlfriend, so he's not always aware when it seems him and other girls are too friendly, even if it's just platonic. It sounds like your boyfriend may have some feelings for his ex, even if he's not really aware of it, if that makes sense? So I think, a really clear, open, calm talk might really help this issue. Just make sure you're calm and rational when you're talking to him, and maybe he'll open up to you. It worked for me, anyway! Good luck to you

[perfect visual]

^ i was in that same situation with my boyfriend. so friendly, outgoing, has ALL girl friends (20+ chick friends and about 3 guy friends), he has the state of mind of helping people, and i'm not very people oriented so it didnt really work out between us...lol

i do not see any reason at all why you would go to your ex for support if you didn't have feelings for them.
and i don't see any reason at all why you would comfort your ex if you didn't have feelings for them.