[theninthtrack]

First of all, thank you for reading this Second, I live in The Netherlands, so maybe some of the majors I'm going to mention won't be exactly like some majors in the US or so. They are however in English, so that makes it easier I guess.

Recently college has started and I'm in my first year of my major, International Business & Languages. Lately I've been questioning this choice and I'm actually planning on switching my major. I've talked about it with my mom and she fully supports me in my decision, saying that my future is what counts and now that I'm still young I need to do what's best in order to prevent myself from regretting it later on in life.

I'm very internationally oriented and one of the things I want to do later is to live as well as work internationally. We are Vietnamese and though we all (my family and I) live in The Netherlands, none of us had ever felt at home here. Because we ended up in a small village with a majority of heavily religious people and little to none cultural diversity, my family and I have been suffering from discrimination for as long as I can remember. Now that I'm 18 and older these things happen less, but occasionally I get reminded again of why I wanted to move out in the first place. My sister, brother and brother-in-law have all mentioned that later on in life they want to move back to Vietnam. As well as my mom, since none of us agree with the fact of putting her in a nursing home once she gets older. She objects as well, as living all alone in such place scares her. Living in an environment that feels home to her (the culture and language, plus the people) is crucial to us, since she has suffered many things in life. A lot of times because of us and so we want her to be happy.

Now I've been thinking of switching my major to either International Business Management Studies or Asian Business Studies. I think you all can figure out what the majors are about, judging from the names. The thing is that for both majors I have to spend at least 1 year outside of the country. May that be for a work place or a study abroad. Meaning my mom won't be able to see me in a year or maybe even more, since I might go for a double degree. Then I have to spend 2 years away from home.

Honestly, if it weren't for my mom I would've gone for it right away. But because of the fact that she's not in the greatest shape of her life and worries about me more than anyone else because I'm the youngest, I'm afraid that it might be too much for her. She has been nothing but supportive through out my life, whatever choice or decision I've made. Being her daughter, I want the best for her. One of the reasons I'm so focussed is because I want to take care of her with the money that I'm determined to earn in the future. But this is also something for myself, that I want to do. I want to achieve greater things in life and to be able to later go back to that little village to lift my head up high and be proud of what I've achieved and who I have become.

I honestly want to know what you think. Should I just go for it or should I just stick with my current major? It is also internationally oriented, but it's easier to find a job in the country with this degree. While for the other two, most of the time you have to be willing to want to work outside of The Netherlands. Or shouldn't I be so selfish and just make sure that I get a degree, instead of worrying my mom even more?

Please reply

[perfect visual]

this is pretty tough... do either of your siblings live in the netherlands still and can take care of her while you're away?

[RhythmEmotion]

Do whatever that will make you the most money/be happiest in the long run. If your mother is supportive of your choice, then she will understand that you need to leave her side to pursue your dreams.

[JJ no Baka]

Tell your mom how the 2 majors will help secure your career later on in Vietnam. And tell her how once you graduate with the degrees and move to Vietnam to work, the both of you will be able to live in Vietnam. I think that both majors will lead you straight to where you want to live, since its international. Maybe she'll understand because its for the both of you two's future. Sacrificing seeing your mom for 2 years for a more secured future, I think it's worth it.

[mashimaro_is_luff]

that's a tough decision to make, but ultimately you have to make it

you're a good daughter and worries for your mom. I think that's admirable. However, it's your future and possibly your mother's future that is on the line here. I think you should go for it or you're going to regret it for the rest of your life. If you end up studying a major that you are not fully commit to, it won't yield good results. You can visit her ocassionally in person or keep in contact with her. If anything happens, you can just fly home. But if your mom condition is worse than what you have told us, then you'll have to weight your options. What would possibly happens if you make this decision? What could possibly go wrong? Is there any chance you will regret this decision in a later point in life? And most importantly, have you fully explore your options? I know it's one of those either do or dont. But you can always make compromises and swerve your way through life. Good luck to you

[theninthtrack]

Thanks for the replies!

My mom's health has always been up and down. Her joints and back hurt and often there's headache. Though she's very lively and can function 100%, there were times when she scared us, like fainting or suddenly losing her balance. She's almost 60, so the age may be a factor as well.

Though I do have my brother and sister by my mom's side, they of course have their own lives too. My brother only comes by for food or to drop off something for my mom. My sister, however, is very supportive and actually spends time with her. But I do feel responsible for my mom, being her daughter as well.

I'm going to have to think even more deeply about this of course, but lately things haven't gone well with my current major. It doesn't work out for me at all and I think it's better to stop before things get worse. So I think, the chance that I'm switching major is getting greater.