[BaoxBao]

Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML


Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML

Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I call her to find out where she lives. She answers the phone only to hear my father yelling in the background, "stop talking to that rainbow." FML

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML


---------------------------



Lmaos =PP if you want the site it's www.FMyLife.com XPP I honestly fell off my chair while laughing at these xDD

[j_and_d_show]

Lmaos =PP if you want the site it's www.FMyLife.com XPP I honestly fell off my chair while laughing at these xDD

Hey, guess what? we elected an african-american President recently! no, no seriously... and Patrick Swayze and Michael Jackson passed away this year too... i know... unbelievable right?!

OK, well im playing with ya but just trying to make a point that if people dont know that website by now, they might have just crawled out from under a rock.

it IS a funny site though so I'm not gonna bash you too much

(i'm such a jerk arent i?)

[BaoxBao]

Hey, guess what? we elected an african-american President recently! no, no seriously... and Patrick Swayze and Michael Jackson passed away this year too... i know... unbelievable right?!

OK, well im playing with ya but just trying to make a point that if people dont know that website by now, they might have just crawled out from under a rock.

it IS a funny site though so I'm not gonna bash you too much

(i'm such a jerk arent i?)

Bleh =3

[j_and_d_show]

peace? forgive me forgive me! haha...

i make so many enemies on these forums. im trying my best to be nice but sometimes you just set yourself up

[Andeh]

LOL , dang these are sad .
Last one was dirtyyy , rofl , feel sorry for a couple of them ..

[Br0kenheartsx3]

mylifeisaverage.com is good too

[x.3christine]

lol, i read ALL of these on the fml site, they were pretty funny

[Everlasting Melody;]

LMAO. Those were pretty sad yet funny xD

[merryweather]

mylifeisaverage>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>fmylife


Today, I was walking around campus and I passed by a huge pile of leaves. All of a sudden, a guy's head popped out of the pile and he screamed "SO MUCH HAPPINESS!!" I love college. MLIA.


The other day in History class I convinced a girl that I invented pencils for left-handed people. She believed me. MLIA


Today, a pack of cheerleaders came into where I work and asked if we sold pizzas. I said no, and they left. I work at Pizza Hut. MLIA

[Kuchiyose Mizu]

I somehow like MLIA better. Haha
FML's sad.

[Namderful]

LOL

Today I went shopping with a friend and bought a book called "Everything Men Can Say to Women Without Offending Them" All the pages are blank, I am a woman and found this hillarious....50 cents well spent? I think so! MLIA.

Fmylife is too sad ):

[theletterELLE]

LOL
But all those sites are better that mylifeistwilight.
Trust me, it's a disgrace in our generation.
I get it if you like twilight... but no to that extent.

[Nana544]

Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML

This just burn .

[&. crepuscular]

i don't remember the exact words
but one guy had to put his mouth brace gear thing (for football) after it fell into a pile of geese poop. ughhhhh that must suckkkk

[atlantic]

LOL! have to go on the sites to read moreee!