[SoulTears1]

must of took a lot of guts to pull it off. Chivalry really is dead. I learned that a while ago in high school, when I wrote this one girl a poem which took me forever to perfect it. I was excited to show it to her; it was creative with mostly humor and romance in it, but the end result was that I was probably some sort of loser in her eyes. She ended up falling for some jerk, or so I heard that he is. And there's more than one incident of this, which lead me to change my ways, killed every ounce of what nice guy I had in me, day by day living in the pursuit of self improvement, and just trying to gain a better understanding of women overall.

If any guy is reading this, ditch the chivalry, it didn't work for the OP, it didn't work for me, and chances are, it won't work for you. You'll only crash and burn; it's high-risk and low reward. There are much better methods that lead to the same route but only with less heartache, humiliation, and maybe pain.

seriously.. why are women like this? like if we're not nice to them, they'd say "good guys don't excist anymore" and then we'd turn into jerks..

does someone care to explain?

[[HyuNi]]

simple... because girls don't know what they want.

I'm not sure but I think 'bad boys' get more girls because they trick the girl into thinking what they have to offer (excitement, adventure, etc) is what they really need.

In the end, I think it's better to not be a typical 'bad boy' or 'nice guy', but a 'good guy'.
Plus, alleged 'nice guys' always complain that they finish last but what they don't realize is that it's not about the quantity of girls, but the quality of the woman.

In my opinion, the 'bad boys' can have all the girls who don't have a clue what they want. I'll be patient for someone whose been waiting for me as much as I've been waiting for her.

[i_4got]

There's nothing wrong with women, but there's definitely something wrong with particular women who are like that. So she'd rather fall for a jerk for some unknown reason (popularity, money, whatever). So what? Would a nice guy really want to pursue a shallow girl like that? I'd just take it as a wake up call and find a nice girl to pursue next time.

And if you're being a "nice guy" just to get women, you're not actually a nice guy. Cut the act and be yourself - that's the only way to find a girl that you can actually spend your life with.

[rachilde]

There's a certain bias to that excerpt that I think most people can pick up on:

1) It's written from the guy's perspective. From my observations and the voluntary admissions of many male friends I have, men typically feel very resentful toward men who 'get the girl' for no other reason than because they got the girl. Furthermore, men tend to feel aggressive toward men they don't know well; as one friend put it, men more typically view other men to be "a douche until proven otherwise." This behavior pattern has been observed by people other than myself and my friends as well. Any gender studies scholar will tell you that Western homo-social behavior is very antagonistic. The guy also admits that he doesn't know the other guy is a jerk--he's only 'heard the guy is a jerk.' This information could have been given by anyone, including someone who wants to cheer the poster up by putting down the other guy. For all we know, this 'jerk' could be a really good guy and the girl likes him because he's a really good guy.

2) Why should a girl like a guy just because he does something nice for her? The argument that flowers, dinners, and poems is the way to a girl's heart isn't true for one simple reason: if she likes you, she'll like you and if she doesn't, then she doesn't. Similarly, to flip things around, you probably wouldn't expect yourself to fall in love with a fairly hideous and mean-spirited girl just because she started pursuing you with dinners and flowers and poems. If the chemistry's not there, then it's not there. No number of poems or flowers will be able to change a complete lack of chemistry. To say 'I wrote you a poem so I deserve your love' is like saying a woman should put out every time she goes out on a date with someone. It makes no sense. Attraction doesn't operate that way.

For these reasons, I think the original poster is overreacting or, at the very least, I don't think we have a full picture of the situation.

And certainly not all girls are like this.

[lance]

id like to think of myself as a jerk on the outside, but am really a 'nice guy' inside... and only a few girls really bring out the nice guy in me...
does that mean i got the bad end of both sides? ive been through the whole 'nice guy' thing before, it sucked, i decided to turn into a a so called player, now am branded with that name everywhere i go ...

[juju<3]

I agree with rachilde.
Another point, I don't think chivalry is quite dead yet. The girl probably didn't appreciate the poem because she wasn't into the guy. I would not fall head over heels in love if a guy I wasn't attracted to did that for me, but if it was a boyfriend or someone I was attracted to, I would find it sweet.

You can't really generalize an entire gender based on one example, one girl.

[mukinsvivi]

I would be upt- must flattered if a guy took his time to write me a poem!
That's so sweet, and yes... i agree with many comments above. This is some
what bias... hm.

[j_and_d_show]

girls are awesome! but we just think differently... the same could be said for guys "what's wrong with men?"

honestly, im just as shallow as the next guy but atleast I realize it and try to improve upon it... there is no "perfect" woman just as there is no such thing as a perfect person. its all about a connection that 2 people have. don't try to guess how it all works... just continue to do your best and BE YOURSELF as i_4got mentioned on this thread.

girls put up with a lot of crap from us too... thanks... dont take this thread too personally, I speak for a lot of men when I say that a world without women would suck... literally... ew..

[DangerousAngel]

simple... because girls don't know what they want.

I'm not sure but I think 'bad boys' get more girls because they trick the girl into thinking what they have to offer (excitement, adventure, etc) is what they really need.

In the end, I think it's better to not be a typical 'bad boy' or 'nice guy', but a 'good guy'.
Plus, alleged 'nice guys' always complain that they finish last but what they don't realize is that it's not about the quantity of girls, but the quality of the woman.

In my opinion, the 'bad boys' can have all the girls who don't have a clue what they want. I'll be patient for someone whose been waiting for me as much as I've been waiting for her.

Soooo,
when can you and I get married?

[lance]

girls put up with a lot of crap from us too... thanks... dont take this thread too personally, I speak for a lot of men when I say that a world without women would suck... literally... ew..

hahaha i like what u did there u naughty girl

[j_and_d_show]

hahaha i like what u did there u naughty girl

sorry to burst your bubble... im not a girl. but i am naughty. maybe we should retitle this thread... "what's wrong with lance?"

[i_4got]

hahaha i like what u did there u naughty girl

It's not nice to say that to a guy.

[hiswendy]

sorry to completely cut your post,
i just wanted to say you're awesome
all your posts i've seen so far are always insightful & argued well

[lance]

sorry to burst your bubble... im not a girl. but i am naughty. maybe we should retitle this thread... "what's wrong with lance?"

LOL! am sorry bud hahahahha its ok, ur a naughty boy then

[Malice_Kaiser]

The original quote is so ridiculously one-sided and biased. Seriously, this thread proves nothing new. What, was the girl supposed to drop everything and go for this guy no questions asked all because of a poem? There's nothing "wrong with women," some people just need to learn to suck it up.

[HaplessChild]

I would not impressed by something lame like a poem from some random guy. There are several problems.

1) Most people aren't as good at writing poetry as they think they are.

2) They tend to be redundant; particularly love poems.

3) People usually have very different taste in art(s). What you think is a damn good poem probably sounds like crap to me.

4) I've gotten love poems before. Be original.

The list goes on.

Don't get mad at girls for not being impressed with your half-assed efforts.

[Lie]

I would not impressed by something lame like a poem from some random guy. There are several problems.

1) Most people aren't as good at writing poetry as they think they are.

2) They tend to be redundant; particularly love poems.

3) People usually have very different taste in art(s). What you think is a damn good poem probably sounds like crap to me.

4) I've gotten love poems before. Be original.

The list goes on.

Don't get mad at girls for not being impressed with your half-assed efforts.

I think girls should appreciate getting love poems, but only if they show an appropriate appreciation for the art form, and by extension of which, an appropriate appreciation for you. Any guy can write a soppy free-verse poem with an elementary rhyme scheme about how you remind them of roses, but only a guy who really cares for you will take the time to learn enough about English sonnets (three quatrains and a final couplet, with a rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef gg and all) to write you one that fits the genre specifications.

(I'm sort of kidding, sort of not).

[fredinsac]

There's nothing wrong with women. It's just that you watch all these movies and they fill your mind up with all these false hopes of what love is supposed to be like when in reality it's the complete opposite. You have to realize that love is a game and unlike yu-gi-oh you can't win with just your heart. You have to play using your mind first and then your heart will follow. If you don't then you'll get burned in the end.

And really though? A poem? This isn't the Renaissance Period and you're no William Shakespeare.

Shoulda wrote her a gangster rap.

[Irony.]

It doesn't mean if you write someone the most perfect song, they're going to fall for you.
But I think the girl shouldn't have treated him like that. Anyways, it's life ... =]

[xDMufffins]

seriously.. why are women like this? like if we're not nice to them, they'd say "good guys don't excist anymore" and then we'd turn into jerks..

does someone care to explain?

There's nothing wrong with women. Women are no different than men.

If a woman were to pursue a man but he is not interested in her despite her efforts, is there anything wrong with this man?
No, he just isn't attracted to her. Same concept applies to women.

Stop thinking that all women are heartless monsters and that men are saints just because you are one(a man). Ignorant.