[Freda]

I've never posted on here before, but I need somewhere to talk about this. It seems like I need an outsider's opinion on this. It's a long story, so bare with me please.

It started with me saying for the past few weeks that I wanted sushi. Apparently (I found out today) NO ONE heard me...that or that they didn't take me seriously. One of my friends justified today, "who doesn't want sushi?"

Basically last week, my friends and I pretty much spent the whole week together. At school we went to classes together, we ate meals together, studied together...some nights they even slept over at my place because we had four midterms. Every time we tried deciding where to go and eat I'd mention how I was craving sushi. Then I'd say, it'll take too long and that we needed to study, they'd agree and we always ended up eating somewhere else (eg. pho, burger king, etc).

Out last midterm was on Friday morning and I went straight home after that. My friends tend to stay until the time's up. I leave when I'm done and I'm finished checking over my work once or twice. I wasn't going to wait an hour for them especially since I can just go home earlier and there was no class afterwards. Regardless, I went home (my actual home with my parents, not the place I'm renting during the school year) and we didn't talk/see each other until Monday morning.

On Monday someone in the pack mentioned how they had fun Friday. So I naturally ask what happened Friday. Yup, they went out for Sushi. So what did I do? My jaws dropped to the ground with a look of disbelief on my face.

Finally getting the situation they ask me, "You didn't want to go, did you?"

....

So I reply honestly saying that I did want to go and that I've been saying for the longest time that I've wanted to. I was upset, but I was still willing to be around them...and then the more they talked to more they leaked. Not only did they go for sushi, but they slept over at my friend's place. The friend's place that I've been wanting to see...this time I flat out asked "What the hell?"

They say that it's because I already went home...and sushi was a spontaneous thing. They assumed that even if they did plan before hand I wouldn't want to stay that long and wait for them since I always liked going home (parent's home) on the weekend. I would have stayed. When I said that they gave me that "Oh" look....and basically I felt hurt that they didn't think about me when they went to do all this. Whenever we go somewhere and it turns out to be some place that someone else said they wanted to go, I'd call them and ask (even if I know they might be busy). If they say they're busy, I would postpone the plans and wait until they can go.

Apparently, they didn't think they needed to do that for me.

Anyway, when this happened we were standing in the halls waiting for our next class to begin. After hearing about Friday I walked away from them and stood by myself. It obviously meant I wanted to be alone. I went into the classroom and found a table away from them. One of them purposely moves her seat and sits next to me. The late comer, not knowing the situation sits behind me and starts poking me (she sees I'm upset, and tries to cheer me up, but she was poking a grizzly bear at that moment) and so I said, "Stop...Stop..Can you just stop?" (I normally don't care if she pokes the day lights out of me)...she stops...as for everyone else, I just ignored them. I cooled down by the end of class and the day moved on.

Yesterday, we ended up going shopping. Actually we went on an over night shopping trip. The first day one of my friends spent close to an hour in one store deciding on whether to get a cardigan or not. In the end she didn't get it and we didn't have enough time to shop around the outlet (we got to 5 stores in a rush out of the 15ish we wanted to hit up). We planned to catch an early bus back to school for class, but that didn't happen in the morning because that same friend wouldn't get up. Since we were late we decided to just go back to the outlet and finish what we couldn't....since the outlet wasn't opened yet we decided to nap for an hour more....after an hour that friend still refused to get up...she didn't do so until we calculated how much time we had left to shop (40 minutes-ish). We skipped two classes, but we had to return for a lab group meeting. We rushed brunch and got back to the outlet where she found this pea-coat she was 'okay' with [one of the main goals of the shopping trip was to help her find a winter jacket]. She was there in front of the mirror for 10 minutes and I told them that I was going to visit another store close by. They told me to come back in ten minutes because we'll have to leave in order to catch the coach bus back to school. I found a few items I wanted, but again like the night before I was rushed. I practically ran across the parking lot to get back to the store where my friends were. It was only then they tell me that they decided to catch the bus half an hour later because my friend still couldn't decide whether she wanted the pea coat or not. Upset that I rushed getting back I decided to help her (we said it looked good on her, but she still had that 'I don't know' face). She just didn't want to feel rushed about getting the coat. I said she could buy it and could always return it later if she didn't like it in the end-- I still don't know why she didn't just do that.

Anyway, I asked her if she liked it, she said it was okay. So I said, "Okay, simple. Don't get it. I don't understand why you need to stand in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and yet need another half an hour to decide whether you want this. If you only think it's okay then obviously you shouldn't get it. You've put it on how many times? If you think it's okay the first time, and it's still okay the second time you're not suddenly going to love it. You should be getting something you actually like. If not, after a week or two of potentially liking it, you're just going to want a new one."

My pea coat friend had had an upset look on her face. My other friends looked shocked...as soon as I said that my pea coat friend put the coat away and said that we could leave. Since we had some time left we split up and went into different stores.

I felt bad because my words were harsh and I told my other friend (the late comer who kept poking me in class on Monday) that. She said that I should apologize and I said that I would (which I did at the end of the day)...I just didn't know how (I'm not good at apologizing when it comes to these issues). Then she told me to apologize for Monday too.

....


"..." I was speechless, so I asked why I had to apologize for Monday.

My friend says that it's because I was mad at her (her as in the friend who wanted the pea coat). I don't think she understood that I was mad at ALL of them, including HER. So I freaked out because I suddenly became such a bad person. I don't understand why she expected me to apologize. THEY were the ones who forgot about me. And it's not like I said anything harsh on Monday that needs apologizing. I was upset, so I walked away and they FOLLOWED me. I ignored them because I didn't want to speak to them and apparently I need to apologize for that? What, "sorry for walking away and wanting to sit alone?" I got over it again just because we still had a whole day together, but this grudge was building.

I was speaking to my OTHER friend (not the pea coat one and not the late comer) about this earlier on msn (sorry it's confusing without names). She was the one who went off with my pea coat friend after we split up. I asked her if my pea coat friend was upset (she obviously was, but she's the type to talk about it with someone else). My friend says she was really upset afterwards because she's one of our more sensitive friends. Somehow I mention how I freaked out on Late Comer too because she told me to apologize for Monday. My friend on msn says that she has no recollection of me ever saying I wanted sushi and took sides with Late Comer...well isn't that great. Apparently no one heard what I said. And from how she said it, it sounded as if she wanted me to apologize as well because I over reacted. She then tries to explain that everyone wants sushi so no one takes each other seriously when someone says "I'm craving sushi"...with that assumed, that it's obvious to wait for everyone else to have this sushi meal then. We're are all in the same program and we all have the same schedules, it wasn't hard to find a good time for everyone to go to sushi.

I know these sorts of things can just be done AGAIN. We can go for sushi like I wanted and I can visit my friends place...but that's besides the point..it's just the fact that they were so inconsiderate when all this time I've been so considerate towards them.

Do you guys think I over reacted as well (about sushi, I apologized to the peacoat/cardigan friend at the end of the day)? And if I did, did I over react enough to actually NEED to apologize?


[edit] sorry if this ends up as a double post, soompi was acting weird and the topic disappeared after I posted it...so this is a repost.

[melkimx]

i merged your thread with the L&R thread because that's where it belongs. please stop double-posting.