[heyjaimie]

This is a very teenage-drama type of situation in my opinion, but I honestly don't know what to or how handle this delicately.
I sit with a small group of friends at lunch. We aren't popular, but we aren't so much as outsiders either. We're just there, I guess? I don't really know, hah.
Anyways, last year, there was like 4 of us in a group. Very small, I know, but it's fun. Anyways, I had 1st, 2nd, and 3rd period with a mutual acquaintance of mine that I've known since elementary school. I'll add this little flashback here so it makes more sense. She was "that friend." She whined, complained when things didn't go her way, she was ridiculously sensitive...I could go on. The one in that group of friends that annoyed the hell out of you. Our elementary school wasn't huge, so the 5th grade girls kind of stuck together, especially since most of us went to the after school program. Long story short, 5th grade drama happened because most of us couldn't stand her...which now that I look back on it, it makes my little kid self more petty and bratty, haha. Now anyways...

To be honest, we weren't like, awesome friends because of what happened in elementary school... We became a bit closer, and eventually she started sitting with us at lunch. I'm not sure how it happened, but it did. Eventually, I realized that this friend of mine used to sit with other kids from our elementary school, but their interests had changed from hers, and they became more "preppy"...or popular, in my opinion. This was kind of the first...thing that bugged me. When we were alone, she'd go on and on about she hated "preps." Aside from the fact that I hate how she criticizes them for acting or dressing a certain way then getting all pissy if you judge her, I couldn't help but suspect that she'd wish she was still friends with them. I read a few of blogs, and she'd inconspicuously mentioned attempting to hang out with them again.
I also couldn't help but to feel that she only hangs out with us because she simply isn't accepted back into their group anymore for being different from them.

Of course I feel a little bad, them being more popular, having more of a social life, moving on and growing up while she's just stuck with us, her obviously wanting to be with them, but she still has annoying personality traits that bug the hell out of me and I can't get over them. It makes me want to say to her old friends "TAKE HER THE FAWK BACK."

If I oppose her point of view, she immediately agrees with me, saying "EXACTLY, THAT'S WHAT I THINK TOO" when it contradicts what she said the minute before.(She's smart, honestly. She can have her own thoughts.)
If I make plans with other friends and she finds out about them, its a dead "Oh...that sounds fun..." with a sad look on her face and her staring at the ground.
When she gets obsessed with something she won't shut about it. In conversations completely aside from her latest obsession, she brings it up anyway. "Hey, how was math to-" "LOL, I CANT WAIT TO READ MY NEW MANGA. LOLOL,SO COOL"
She won't stop using chanspeak. "LOL I LEIK MUDKIPZ. LOL THE INTRNETZ IZ SRS BSNS. LOL ROFLCOPTER, LOST THE GAME LOLOL" (and this is randomly, every day, about every five minutes. luckily, it died down a bit)

Yeah, I put myself in her shoes. It didn't help much. I try to be more patient with her, but I just end up glaring at her anyway.

Of course I had laughs and fun times with her, but I'm about to punch someone. I'm frustrated. I don't want to completely stop being friends with her, I just... don't want to deal with this much annoyance every day.

Sorry this is so long, but I'm to my wits end.
Any advice?
Personal experiences?

[yellow submarine]

hmm i don't know...she doesn't sound that bad.

[RYUUSEi]

Try asking her what happened between her and those preppy chicks (i.e in a casual tone "Hey didn't you used to be really close to those girls?"). After explaining the situation, she might seek your advice on what to do and you can encourage her to talk to them. This will hopefully result in her returning to where she came from, or lessen the time she annoys you everyday since she's now at least talking to those other girls again.

[onFiRE*]

Hmmm...I think that from your post it sounds like she recently got kind of "rejected" by her previous group that she's still not quite acquainted with your group yet? Maybe that's why the annoying traits / etc. haven't died down yet. I kind of feel bad for her, because obviously she wants to fit in with you guys as well, that's why she'd say things that would contradict herself. I guess just kind of let her be and see if she changes her habits. If not, even after awhile, just confront her about it.

[merryweather]

Well if you weren't in high school, I would say: you need some time apart.

I guess.........whenever she is around, wear headphones?????

[des monstres]

hmm i don't know...she doesn't sound that bad.

...she may not sound bad..
but i'm sure she's a handful in real life.


i'd be so annoyed with her if i were you.
no advice here.
i try to stay away from drama as far as i can.

[azngurl0206]

i have a friend problem like that too D:
so many people say yu should talk it out with her but i don't really have the guts.

she non-stops talks about herself.she thinks that she's the most prettiest/cutest person and thinks everyone adores her.
i have a group of friend i always hang out with [4 people with me included] and she's always saying can i come too!
she came over once and she saw this one other friend of mine that i have to admit does have a nice body; but she can't stop talking about it.i've seen it and don't need to be reminded every single conversation we have that he has a hot body -.-
and i have a project with him and have to work on it and she insists on coming over and "helping".no offense to her really but she has an annoying voice when she tries to flirt -.-
she also likes this guy, and whenever i talk to her about anything else besides what goes on in her life she doesn't sound so interested.but when i asked about how things are going with her and the guy she automatically starts blabbing about every detail:
what he says to her.
that he texted/called first,
he thinks i'm adorable,
and so on...i hear the same things 10x more than i really need to.
&& she thinks her problems are always bigger than everyone else's.i am really starting to blow up.and i'm ort of venting here.
i do not want to sound like a b****, so do yu guys think i'm just over-reacting?

[chaumein]

Wow, she sounds like me. Do any of your other friends feel the same way as you? The "high school" solution would be to get in a group and confront her about it. I've seen so many people get ousted this way in my HS clique. The oustees went on to have friendships with people much more compatible with them, so all was well. However, these people were annoying in a thick-skinned way. Since I identify with your friend so much and know how sensitive/non-confrontational our types can be, I can't ever imagine being ganged up on like that. So please don't do this to her (especially if she doesn't have any other close friends)!

A gentler way would be just to tell her what she's doing wrong when she's being annoying (one-on-one). If you don't completely hate her, you can preface by saying, "Hey I don't hate you or anything, but I think it's rude when you interrupt people." But mannn... you just confirmed a lot of my worst fears about myself. Anyway good luck, and I hope things work out in your favour.

[heyjaimie]

Wow, she sounds like me. Do any of your other friends feel the same way as you? The "high school" solution would be to get in a group and confront her about it. I've seen so many people get ousted this way in my HS clique. The oustees went on to have friendships with people much more compatible with them, so all was well. However, these people were annoying in a thick-skinned way. Since I identify with your friend so much and know how sensitive/non-confrontational our types can be, I can't ever imagine being ganged up on like that. So please don't do this to her (especially if she doesn't have any other close friends)!

A gentler way would be just to tell her what she's doing wrong when she's being annoying (one-on-one). If you don't completely hate her, you can preface by saying, "Hey I don't hate you or anything, but I think it's rude when you interrupt people." But mannn... you just confirmed a lot of my worst fears about myself. Anyway good luck, and I hope things work out in your favour.

I don't want to out her. That's mean. Honestly...I guess I just want... to like.. be able to deal with her better, if that makes any sense. I still want us to be friends, but I just get really frustrated sometimes.
I'm sincerely sorry if my little rant offended you. I hope it didn't.

[chaumein]

I don't want to out her. That's mean. Honestly...I guess I just want... to like.. be able to deal with her better, if that makes any sense. I still want us to be friends, but I just get really frustrated sometimes.
I'm sincerely sorry if my little rant offended you. I hope it didn't.

Don't worry, I wasn't offended I just felt a little more self-aware after having read your post. Also, just telling her when she's being annoying isn't mean. Think of it this way:

- If you don't tell her you'll only continue to be more frustrated and that'll just breed more resentment.
- You're helping her improve her social skills, cuz that's how we learn, through feedback from other people.
- Friendships (the real ones at least) aren't confrontation-free. It's through disagreements and stuff that we get to understand each other better. I don't think you'll just be able to magically accept her if you don't know where she's coming from.

Sorry if that sounded preachy or obvious. I'm just relaying to you things I wish I knew/had done when I was in similar situations. Again, good luck.