[des monstres]

thanks again, ya'lll~

ajkslfjklafjklag

[RawrPandaGoes]

I would say just see what happens: it definitely does NOT seem like he's cheating on you.

What I think happened is the "honeymoon period" is over for him. If he mentioned you to his parents pretty early, that means either one of two things:

1. it's just his personality
2. he was eager about the relationship

As time passes, it's only natural for the "honeymoon period" to go away.

Now, if it's really bothering you, sit him down, talk to him about it, and tell him how you feel about how things are going. If you think it just isn't working out, you're better off breaking-up with him.

[des monstres]

I would say just see what happens: it definitely does NOT seem like he's cheating on you.

What I think happened is the "honeymoon period" is over for him. If he mentioned you to his parents pretty early, that means either one of two things:

1. it's just his personality
2. he was eager about the relationship

As time passes, it's only natural for the "honeymoon period" to go away.

Now, if it's really bothering you, sit him down, talk to him about it, and tell him how you feel about how things are going. If you think it just isn't working out, you're better off breaking-up with him.

he purposely doesn't say my name to his parents.
apparently it's just easier to say "friends" instead.


and yeah. i don't think he's cheating on me either.
that hasn't crossed my mind.

[RawrPandaGoes]

he purposely doesn't say my name to his parents.
apparently it's just easier to say "friends" instead.


and yeah. i don't think he's cheating on me either.
that hasn't crossed my mind.

My parents always make a big fuss about girls, so I would do the same. But, I think that's a different circumstance than your boyfriend.

Any events (anniversary, birthdays, etc) between you two coming up soon? A lot of girls these days do events for guys, too. That might help your relationship a little.

[des monstres]

My parents always make a big fuss about girls, so I would do the same. But, I think that's a different circumstance than your boyfriend.

Any events (anniversary, birthdays, etc) between you two coming up soon? A lot of girls these days do events for guys, too. That might help your relationship a little.

i wouldn't mind if he didn't say my name every now and then.
but it seems like he always does..
i mean, to the point where his parents thought we weren't together anymore.
-___- that's just sad.

it's not like our relationship is a fling.
it's a serious, long-term relationship. :/

----

our 2 year past.
on the actual day of our 2 year, it really sucked.
he told me he had a crap ton of work to do.
so we only got to talk an hour.
and he said he'd call me later to talk some more.

5 hours later, he calls me and quickly spurts out,
"hey. happy 2 year. can't talk today. didn't get any work done."
"what.. have you been doing? :|"
"oh uhm. so&so came in. and.. well, yeah."
"oh.. okay. talk to you tomorrow. bye."

so basically, he hung out with his friends.
ON OUR 2 YEAR. jLKALfjkldgsgh.
so i just said, okay, whatever. cried, then went to bed. lol.
the next day, i visited him. i was still kind of bummed about the day before,
and he has to nerve to ask what's wrong. ~___~;;
but i just put it past me. and he treated me like a princess.
which is really rare nowadays. so i really appreciated that.

[ShadowMax76]

ask him for some time to talk about things on your mind.
obviously it won't be easy, but you need to know what he's thinking - now.

. my first reaction was "give the man some space. o_o"
but with your worries... the only solution is to have him calm them. rather than have us push you into a baseless trusting naivety/ignorant bliss.

btw, you have a life of your own, right?

[SaintPink]

Awe usually it just means he has things he wants to do without you knowing
BUT doing that on your one year is a b.tch a$$ move!! no matter how much
work I have i'd at least expect flowers on my doorstep or a card i dunno that may
be just me but definitely not chillin with buddies and making up lame excuses
like that.

If your intuition tells you something is wrong, chances are, something is wrong.
Just keep an eye out for more changes but dont read too much into it
either, try to enjoy the times you do have together a bit and get your own life
hang out with your own friends and do your own thing, you will feel much better.

[RawrPandaGoes]

i wouldn't mind if he didn't say my name every now and then.
but it seems like he always does..
i mean, to the point where his parents thought we weren't together anymore.
-___- that's just sad.

it's not like our relationship is a fling.
it's a serious, long-term relationship. :/

==== I cut out this part ======

so basically, he hung out with his friends.
ON OUR 2 YEAR. jLKALfjkldgsgh.
so i just said, okay, whatever. cried, then went to bed. lol.
the next day, i visited him. i was still kind of bummed about the day before,
and he has to nerve to ask what's wrong. ~___~;;
but i just put it past me. and he treated me like a princess.
which is really rare nowadays. so i really appreciated that.

Has he ever said "I love you" and you could tell that he really meant it? If he has, ask him to say it once more. You'll be able to tell if he means it or not.


About your two-year anniversary, that was just...... GUHHHHHH
Hanging out with friends on an anniversary? SET%^#$YQHGQER$^YEARYQRRAWRAWRAWR

I'd put it past me that he totally blew-off the two year anniversary IF you can tell that he really does mean it when he says, "I love you".

[WhiteRabbitsTime]

Doesn't sound good to me.

1. He's cheating.
Or
2. He doesn't like you anymore.

I'm only saying this because he's showing the SAME symptoms of my last boyfriend before he broke it off with me and it was because:

1. He was cheating on me.
2. He didn't like me anymore.

[des monstres]

ask him for some time to talk about things on your mind.
obviously it won't be easy, but you need to know what he's thinking - now.

. my first reaction was "give the man some space. o_o"
but with your worries... the only solution is to have him calm them. rather than have us push you into a baseless trusting naivety/ignorant bliss.

btw, you have a life of your own, right?

lol, every time i make a thread, people think i suffocate him.
1. i don't bother him during the day. only text every now and then to see how his day is going so far. but now i hardly text him cause he never really texts me first anymore.
2. we only talk for an hour or so at night. but the time we talk to each other is getting shorter and shorter. we used to start talking about 10 or 11. but now it's around..1. he'll be the first to go to, ALWAYS. and he leaves around 2ish. and sometimes i'll even stay up until 3am-6am/6am-9am if he's working then. (he works at a desk.. so i'm not bothering him. plus, i'm quite the night owl.) because.. well. i like talking to him and i feel like we don't communicate as much.
3. we're in a long distance relationship. i only get to see him once a week. i drive to his school, which is about a 40 minute drive there. and he onlys home only twice a month. and even then, i don't really get to see him because he's busy doing other things. the last time he came home, we saw each other for an hour. the mood wasn't great either. he didn't sound very excited to see me when i called him and that bummed me out. (i.e. "i'm home!" "...oh. okay.")
4. he gets to hang out with his friends. he sees them everyday. i don't bother him when he is hanging out with them. and sometime i'm afraid of calling him during the afternoon/evening because he'll most likely be hanging out with them. and he never leaves his friends to talk to me anymore. he used to do it every so often. which showed that he actually wanted to talk to me. but now, he leaves me to go hang out with his friends.



and who is them? ("...calm them....")
and yes. i have a life of my own.
but i always make sure to squeeze in time for him.
even if i am really busy.
idk. i think i'm a fairly good girlfriend. i put a lot of effort into our relationship.
but it seems like i'm the ONLY one putting in the effort.

Awe usually it just means he has things he wants to do without you knowing
BUT doing that on your one year is a b.tch a$$ move!! no matter how much
work I have i'd at least expect flowers on my doorstep or a card i dunno that may
be just me but definitely not chillin with buddies and making up lame excuses
like that.

If your intuition tells you something is wrong, chances are, something is wrong.
Just keep an eye out for more changes but dont read too much into it
either, try to enjoy the times you do have together a bit and get your own life
hang out with your own friends and do your own thing, you will feel much better.

correction, two year. ~___~;;;
he used to do really sweet things.
it doesn't take much to make me smile.
even a text in the middle of the day makes my day.
even if it is just saying, "hi<3"

he used to leave little notes in my bag.
or on my car windshield. it was really sweet.
and he gave me flowers.
and gave me handmade items (which i absolutely adore).
i.e. paintings and collages. and he's really amazing at art.

at one point, he told me one of his biggest regrets was not being able to show me how much he liked me when he first met me. but i mean, he could still show me, you know? D: just because he has me now doesn't mean he has to stop trying..

Has he ever said "I love you" and you could tell that he really meant it? If he has, ask him to say it once more. You'll be able to tell if he means it or not.


About your two-year anniversary, that was just...... GUHHHHHH
Hanging out with friends on an anniversary? SET%^#$YQHGQER$^YEARYQRRAWRAWRAWR

I'd put it past me that he totally blew-off the two year anniversary IF you can tell that he really does mean it when he says, "I love you".

he has said i love you and meant it.
but i don't know.
i'd rather him show me that he does instead of just saying it.
and it's not like he has an inability to, he has shown me before.
but now he's just slacking real bad.

which reminds me..
his 'sorry's' seem a lot less genuine now.
i can tell when he means it or not.
and now it just seems like he's saying it in order to ease the tension.

well, i think my weakness is that i forgive him too easily. :/

Doesn't sound good to me.

1. He's cheating.
Or
2. He doesn't like you anymore.

I'm only saying this because he's showing the SAME symptoms of my last boyfriend before he broke it off with me and it was because:

1. He was cheating on me.
2. He didn't like me anymore.

he's already attempted to break it off with me.
right before he went back to college.
but it ended up just being a break.
that month seemed like forever.

i don't think he would cheat on me. at least he would have the decency to break up with me first.
he really dislikes cheaters and thinks very lowly of them.
so i mean,.. it would seem sort of unlikely that he would stoop that low.

[switchlanez]

he's already attempted to break it off with me.
right before he went back to college.
but it ended up just being a break.
that month seemed like forever.

i went through similar stuff with my ex being together from high school and into college (5 hours apart so it became LDR)...

college gave me a bunch of new things to worry about in life, mostly academics and my social situation. all the stuff we used to do together when we were in high school was suddenly not there anymore in college. we had to adapt to make the relationship last. we tried to but it got to the point where the struggle > the enjoyment.

your b/f probably knows you how miscontent you are and he's probably really trying his hardest to make it work but understand that he has to focus on and maintain many other aspects of his new life. it might be a bit difficult for him to satisfy even the littlest things you are expecting in your relationship.

[luvelyasian]

i dunno it definitely sounds like he's not trying but the one thing that stood out to me is what happened for your 2 year anniversary.. ok so he hung out with his friends and played the victim because he didn't 'get any work done'

and that night you went to bed crying.

uuummm. you should have told him straight out then, or at least eventually that you were reallyyy upset by that! it's nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed--he's the one who should feel that way for ditching your 'celebration of your relationship'

i dunno it sounds to me that you may be better off without. it's obvious you guys still care about each other but maybe it'll be healthier to go on your own. you both will have muuch less to worry and stress about

just my two cents.

[des monstres]

i went through similar stuff with my ex. we were together since high school and then into college (5 hours apart so it became LDR), had a "break" sometime in between for a month. trust was never the issue. the problem was that it was a LDR...

college gave me a bunch of new things to worry about in life, mostly academics and my social situation. all the stuff we used to do together when we were in high school was suddenly not there anymore in college. we had to adapt to make the relationship last. we tried to but it got to the point where the struggle > the enjoyment. i spread myself thin that year and ended it as soon as i found a valid reason to do so and never looked back (well, we're cool w/ each other now).

your b/f probably knows you how miscontent you are and he's probably really trying his hardest to make it work but understand that he has to focus on and maintain many other aspects of his new life. it might be difficult a bit for him to satisfy even the littlest things you are expecting in your relationship.

i'm pretty adjusted to this long distance thing.
at first, it was really hard since before he went off to college, we saw each other almost everyday.
now it's down to once a week. sometimes once every other week if he's too busy to see me.

i just need SOME contact from him every day. may it be a "hi" text msg or something.
although, yeah. there are some days without contact.
but if the day before was ended on a good note, i don't think much of it.

honestly, he doesn't know how 'miscontent' i am. and he's not trying his hardest. i've tried making up excuses for him in my head. but blah. i'm tired of doing that. idk. i'm able to fit him into my busy schedule. when i tell him my week schedule, he's like "wtf. why do you have so much work to do." it kind of tells me that he has less work to do..

and leaving me in the middle of our conversation to play games is not.. showing me that he's trying his hardest to make this work. and yes. this has happened numerous times. i'm not just basing this off a one-time thing. that'd be extreme.

i feel like i'm always there when i need him. even if it's not in a physical sense.

i dunno it definitely sounds like he's not trying but the one thing that stood out to me is what happened for your 2 year anniversary.. ok so he hung out with his friends and played the victim because he didn't 'get any work done'

and that night you went to bed crying.

uuummm. you should have told him straight out then, or at least eventually that you were reallyyy upset by that! it's nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed--he's the one who should feel that way for ditching your 'celebration of your relationship'

i dunno it sounds to me that you may be better off without. it's obvious you guys still care about each other but maybe it'll be healthier to go on your own. you both will have muuch less to worry and stress about

just my two cents.

yeah. idk. even reading that makes me tear up a little. hahah. i felt really unimportant that day. he could've told his friends that he had to get work done. but no. of course not. ha. but if he was actually getting work done and he had to get back to it, i would've completely understood.

instead of saying sorry at the end of the phone conversation, he just said "okay. bye." really coldly. wtf. :/

[switchlanez]

i'm pretty adjusted to this long distance thing.
at first, it was really hard since before he went off to college, we saw each other almost everyday.
now it's down to once a week. sometimes once every other week if he's too busy to see me.

i just need SOME contact from him every day. may it be a "hi" text msg or something.
although, yeah. there are some days without contact.
but if the day before was ended on a good note, i don't think much of it.

honestly, he doesn't know how 'miscontent' i am. and he's not trying his hardest. i've tried making up excuses for him in my head. but blah. i'm tired of doing that. idk. i'm able to fit him into my busy schedule. when i tell him my week schedule, he's like "wtf. why do you have so much work to do." it kind of tells me that he has less work to do..

and leaving me in the middle of our conversation to play games is not.. showing me that he's trying his hardest to make this work. and yes. this has happened numerous times. i'm not just basing this off a one-time thing. that'd be extreme.

i feel like i'm always there when i need him. even if it's not in a physical sense.

ok so distance isn't the prob. but he's not living up to your expectations as a b/f so you should let him know somehow. but before you let him know you should ask yourself: are your expectations reasonable? i think they're a bit much based on what i read on this thread. don't take it personally.

and about the 2nd anniversary... what he did was a bit cold. but, as a guy, i can picture it happening
it seems this and things similar to this really bother you and he's doesn't understand the extent to which it bothers you. it's not that you are letting him off easily. the problem is you aren't letting him know and you're letting it fester inside. communication is key so tell him but DO NOT scold him. just let him know how you feel and see how he reacts. the sooner you talk to him about these things, the better. don't bring it up until after your initial reactive emotions (like how you felt on the day of your 2nd anniversary) have settled. wait for a day when you're in a really good mood. then have the conversation. be honest, upfront, and straight faced.

[des monstres]

ok so distance isn't the prob. but he's not living up to your expectations as a b/f so you should let him know somehow. but before you let him know you should ask yourself: are your expectations reasonable? i think they're a bit much based on what i read on this thread. don't take it personally.

and about the 2nd anniversary... what he did was a bit cold. but, as a guy, i can picture it happening
it seems this and things similar to this really bother you and he's doesn't understand the extent to which it bothers you. it's not that you are letting him off easily. the problem is you aren't letting him know and you're letting it fester inside. communication is key so tell him but DO NOT scold him. just let him know how you feel and see how he reacts. the sooner you talk to him about these things, the better. don't bring it up until after your initial reactive emotions (like how you felt on the day of your 2nd anniversary) have settled. wait for a day when you're in a really good mood. then have the conversation. be honest, upfront, and straight faced.

you really think they're a bit much? :/ how so? maybe it's different from a guy's pov. idk.
1. text every so often. (takes less than a minute to send a text msg..)
2. call me every once in awhile.
3. keep to his word. (although, yeah. i understand sometimes things are going to unpredictably pop-up.)
4. try to be on time. (my mom raised me this way. i'm big on time.)
5. keep promises. no matter how small.
it's.. kind of the norm/standard of what people do in relationships.
i'd say my expectations are reasonable. and i'm really flexible.
it's just that he's been doing it a lot recently. well, not even recently..
for monthsssssssssss now. and it just seems like we're stuck in this cycle.

and what do you mean by "...as a guy."
what he did was beyond cold, man. D:
no. that's really mini cooperty to do that, despite the gender.
especially on a really special day.

i'm not asking for the world.
nor am i asking for material possessions.
i just want him to show me a little more that he really cares for me, through his actions.
sometimes it's really nice to have that reassurance.

i have told him that i want him to put a little more effort into the relationship. it just feels like a cycle. and i don't scold him. we talk about it in a civil manner. haha. although sometimessss, things get a little out of hand. idk. i wanted to talk to him about it. the last time i saw him was two days after our 2 year since he came home that weekend. i didn't really feel like it was appropriate to talk about serious things because we met up at the mall. (he could only see me for an hour.) and the day before that was our "fake" 2 year. and i didn't wanna ruin the mood on that day either. :/ meeh. and it's something i wanna talk to him in person so i can see his facial expressions, etc etc. and sometimes the tone can be misleading through msgs/words.

sfjkg.

[rurutia]

I've read a lot of your past threads before, and I must say from those threads my impression of your bf wasn't that good, lol. This might sound harsh, but I think your bf is losing interest in you. No matter how busy a guy is, they will still find time to be with the one they love, ESPECIALLY for an important event like your 2 year! Seriously, reading what your bf did during that important day made me angry. If my bf did that to me, I'd be pissed as hell, it just shows how much he cares. Also, him ignoring you and lying about the small things, you can't keep ignoring these issues forever. If he doesn't make any effort to change, then it's better to break it off with him. Honestly, it's not worth the crying every night. Find a guy that won't make you wait 5 hours, a guy that won't ignore you, an honest guy that is willing to put effort into your relationship and make you happy. I know you guys have been through a lot, but 2 years is hardly anything in one's lifetime. It's going to be hard, but all the signs, even your dreams are telling you that something isn't right. Also, stop thinking about how he USED to be and stop defending his actions, the reality is that he is not likely to change back to the way he was. Look at your relationship from a 3rd person's view and ask yourself if it's really worth the unhappiness. But anyhow, the way things are right now, you seem to be at the bottom of his priority list.

Phewph, I've typed a lot, but I hope my opinion has helped you. Creating all these threads about the problems in your relationship does tell you something right? I know that you love him, but is it worth all the pain he is giving you? Anyways, what you're going to do is up to you, but I hope you'll be happy with whatever decision you make. Good luck with your relationship!

[jonathant88]

^ You sound like a nice and caring girlfriend. He's lucky to have someone like you. It's too bad that relationships always get one sided after a couple has been together for a while.

[des monstres]

I've read a lot of your past threads before, and I must say from those threads my impression of your bf wasn't that good, lol. This might sound harsh, but I think your bf is losing interest in you. No matter how busy a guy is, they will still find time to be with the one they love, ESPECIALLY for an important event like your 2 year! Seriously, reading what your bf did during that important day made me angry. If my bf did that to me, I'd be pissed as hell, it just shows how much he cares. Also, him ignoring you and lying about the small things, you can't keep ignoring these issues forever. If he doesn't make any effort to change, then it's better to break it off with him. Honestly, it's not worth the crying every night. Find a guy that won't make you wait 5 hours, a guy that won't ignore you, an honest guy that is willing to put effort into your relationship and make you happy. I know you guys have been through a lot, but 2 years is hardly anything in one's lifetime. It's going to be hard, but all the signs, even your dreams are telling you that something isn't right. Also, stop thinking about how he USED to be and stop defending his actions, the reality is that he is not likely to change back to the way he was. Look at your relationship from a 3rd person's view and ask yourself if it's really worth the unhappiness. But anyhow, the way things are right now, you seem to be at the bottom of his priority list.

Phewph, I've typed a lot, but I hope my opinion has helped you. Creating all these threads about the problems in your relationship does tell you something right? I know that you love him, but is it worth all the pain he is giving you? Anyways, what you're going to do is up to you, but I hope you'll be happy with whatever decision you make. Good luck with your relationship!

ah, no. it didn't sound harsh. i feel like a lot of people have said that. lols. i guess it's hard to say because i'm only pointing out the wrongs of my relationship at this point. idk. not a lot of good things have happened recently. well, yesterday HE called ME out of the blue. gasp. that was a pleasant surprise. (:

"Also, stop thinking about how he USED to be and stop defending his actions, the reality is that he is not likely to change back to the way he was."

this is really true. :/


although people say 2 years isn't a very long time, well. a relationship has to start off somewhere. people who have been together for 10 years didn't start off at 10, they started at 0. just like me.



i wanna thank everyone who has been contributing to my threads. it's been a great help. and it's comforting that i'm not the only person who feels this way. (: <3 keep the advice coming though~

@jonathant88: haha, i wish he knew how lucky he was. maybe in the point in time, he's just taking me for granted. well, i'm sure there are relationships that aren't one-sided. lucky them. ;o

[Gofishus]

Yeah, from your post it seems like you are a very caring and good girlfriend. But it seems like either he is too busy for you or doesn't like you as much anymore. I would confront him about this and ask him to put more effort or risk the relationship being broken up. I mean, you put so much effort into the relationship. If he doesn't keep up his end, well then you deserve someone better who actually puts effort right?

[xdaisiesx3]

You know, I actually read all the posts in this thread. And I see the pattern-- guys understand your boyfriend. Girls don't. I guess this is the difference between guys and girls that just won't change... sadly.

I've seen your previous threads and to the people who say you're suffocating him-- I totally disagree. "You have your own life" is NOT a reason for you to not be communicating like that. I hate it when people say that (to me, too) because it's just not true... when I'm dating someone, it's a given (at least for most girls) that we act.. like family(?) if you get what I mean. Yeah, you have your own life, but if you've been together in a mature, serious relationship for two years with him, he definitely should be in your life completely, and you in his. I guess guys can say that that's too much, but as a girl myself, I totally understand.

I guess the smart decision would be to talk to him about everything that's been bothering you (although I know how hard that'll be) and just let everything out. If nothing changes, the end result is obvious. I know it's so hard to say those things or break up with him (possibly) but I'd say that's the right thing to do. Again, I know how hard that is to actually do, so I won't blame you if you don't (ever). And I'm sure you know already, but this is coming from experience.

Man, boys are so annoying.