Hey so I'm a senior and I'm about to go to college. I want to know from you experienced college students if I should dorm with a friend or a complete stranger? Can you name some pros/cons of each as well? Sorry if this belongs to the pre-college section but I thought here would be better since college students experienced freshman year already? Thanks a lot! (By the way, sorry if there has been a thread about this topic already but I skimmed the pages and didn't see one)
Dorming with a friend or stranger? Need help from college students...
#2
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 01:03 AM
are you really allowed to dorm with your friends? i thought you had to dorm with strangers. like in the beginning of the year, you fill out a questionaire thingie that would find you a dormmate that you would be most compatible with.
hmm ^.~.
hmm ^.~.
so we'll just let them hate
cause they can't stop us babe.
cause they can't stop us babe.
#3
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 11:13 AM
I can't say this goes for all schools but you can request a roommate.
I suggest that you don't dorm with a friend because it can ruin a perfectly good friendship. That is not to say that you'll end up hating each other, although that is a possibility, but it's not as good of an idea as it seems. If you dorm with a friend, you basically have expectations. You think you know the person and since you're friends, you expect everything to be fine and dandy. It's likely that you will be disappointed because getting along with a person is completely different than living with them and sharing such a tight space. Things change in college and if you're gonna room with a friend, think about it long and hard. Make sure you agree on guests policies and cleanliness and sleeping habits.
If you're dorming with a stranger, sure, there are greater chances of you hating your roommate but you don't have expectations like you would with a friend so that even if your roommate doesn't turn out to be your best friend, you won't be that let down and it wouldn't cost you a valued friendship. Both sides are more likely to be more respectful of each other and more reserved about certain things.
I know two people who dormed with friends and they've had issues. I didn't dorm with a friend. My first roommate was alright. We were just so different that we couldn't become best friends but there was really nothing else wrong. We talked and everything was fine but then she became good friends with a girl down the hall and wanted to room with her since they're both smokers and they're friends. So I agreed to switch roommates and so her friend's roommate moved into my room. Now, the two of us are best friends! So really, I've had 2 roommates and both worked out but the current one better than the first. The first has been having issues with her friend but has now transferred to an art school.
Ultimately, it's up to you though!
I suggest that you don't dorm with a friend because it can ruin a perfectly good friendship. That is not to say that you'll end up hating each other, although that is a possibility, but it's not as good of an idea as it seems. If you dorm with a friend, you basically have expectations. You think you know the person and since you're friends, you expect everything to be fine and dandy. It's likely that you will be disappointed because getting along with a person is completely different than living with them and sharing such a tight space. Things change in college and if you're gonna room with a friend, think about it long and hard. Make sure you agree on guests policies and cleanliness and sleeping habits.
If you're dorming with a stranger, sure, there are greater chances of you hating your roommate but you don't have expectations like you would with a friend so that even if your roommate doesn't turn out to be your best friend, you won't be that let down and it wouldn't cost you a valued friendship. Both sides are more likely to be more respectful of each other and more reserved about certain things.
I know two people who dormed with friends and they've had issues. I didn't dorm with a friend. My first roommate was alright. We were just so different that we couldn't become best friends but there was really nothing else wrong. We talked and everything was fine but then she became good friends with a girl down the hall and wanted to room with her since they're both smokers and they're friends. So I agreed to switch roommates and so her friend's roommate moved into my room. Now, the two of us are best friends! So really, I've had 2 roommates and both worked out but the current one better than the first. The first has been having issues with her friend but has now transferred to an art school.
Ultimately, it's up to you though!
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#4
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 11:37 AM
dorm with a friend you don't know too well but is comfortable with.
do NOT dorm with a random stranger. you may get lucky and find someone you're really compatible with...but there's a high likelihood you'll be dorming with a room mate from hell (like me) even in competitive schools surprisingly.
however, it does depend on which school you're going to. see if you're asian (i'm assuming you are) and you're very asian and you're going to a higher UC ranked school, then you'll probably find someone compatible. however, if you're at a predominantly white school...you'll have a hard time (cultural differences, etc.; i can surely speak from experience)
do NOT dorm with a random stranger. you may get lucky and find someone you're really compatible with...but there's a high likelihood you'll be dorming with a room mate from hell (like me) even in competitive schools surprisingly.
however, it does depend on which school you're going to. see if you're asian (i'm assuming you are) and you're very asian and you're going to a higher UC ranked school, then you'll probably find someone compatible. however, if you're at a predominantly white school...you'll have a hard time (cultural differences, etc.; i can surely speak from experience)
#5
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 12:43 PM
unless you can stand seeing your friend 24/7, then you can dorm with them but i wouldn't suggest it. sooner or later everything they do will piss you off haha and it might ruin your friendship.
i dormed with a stranger in 1st yr but it was a nice experience since we come from completely different backgrounds so we got along really well and i made a new friend
i dormed with a stranger in 1st yr but it was a nice experience since we come from completely different backgrounds so we got along really well and i made a new friend
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#6
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 02:44 PM
i decided to dorm with a complete stranger and it ended up pretty perfectly. We're really good friends now and I still have a good relationship with my other friends i decided not to dorm with.
#7
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 07:29 PM
Yeah. Don't dorm with a friend, cause u'll just end up annoying each other. Also, it'll be harder on u. Cause with a friend, u'll tend to be nicer and tolerate some of the shiet going on and u really don't want to say anything cause ur friends. So u just let it go till it boils over and u explode.
With a stranger it's a lot more comfortable. Since u don't know each other ur more likely to tell them stuff u don't like about them. Like to clean up their stuff or to shut up.
I dormed with two strangers and it was comforatble since, I didn't know them that much and I could tell them if they were bothering me or if their side was messy and stuff. Also, u get to meet differen't people u really don't meet.
With a stranger it's a lot more comfortable. Since u don't know each other ur more likely to tell them stuff u don't like about them. Like to clean up their stuff or to shut up.
I dormed with two strangers and it was comforatble since, I didn't know them that much and I could tell them if they were bothering me or if their side was messy and stuff. Also, u get to meet differen't people u really don't meet.
#8
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 07:37 PM
^ i agree.
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#9
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 08:16 PM
you would think that by dorming with a friend, you two would be more sensitive to each other's needs and get along easier because you guys 'understand' each other.
dang, =_=.
if i could request a roommate, they would probably be someone i know, but are not very familiar with. kfjgkdfjgdlg...
dang, =_=.
if i could request a roommate, they would probably be someone i know, but are not very familiar with. kfjgkdfjgdlg...
so we'll just let them hate
cause they can't stop us babe.
cause they can't stop us babe.
#10
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Posted 28 March 2006 - 05:06 AM
Can you get a suite with more than 1 roomates in your freshman year?
#11
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Posted 28 March 2006 - 10:00 AM
well, considering i got strangled by my roommate earlier this year, i'd recommend a friend. but hey, that was just my bad experience. =.=
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#12
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Posted 28 March 2006 - 02:11 PM
^literally?
what did you do? @@.
what did you do? @@.
so we'll just let them hate
cause they can't stop us babe.
cause they can't stop us babe.
#13
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Posted 28 March 2006 - 03:09 PM
stranger
cause its a good way to sort of get used to meeting new ppl
cause its a good way to sort of get used to meeting new ppl
O.O
#14
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Posted 29 March 2006 - 02:55 AM
Probably not best with friends - I got pissed off with some new found friends in my first yr of uni just by working with them in a group. Why? 'cause study habits r very different and different goal and expectations for the course in question. In the end, you learn SO MUCH about them that u'll rather not know. I mean, u may have known they slack about in their studies some time but usually, u wouldn't care 'cause it doesn't involve u. But when it does....lol - things get really personal. So, if even WORKING with friends can become a great issue, think about LIVING with a friend - study habits is one but LIVING habits is more than personal - the difference in living styles can drive you nuts and yes - cost friendship.
For strangers, CHOOSE WELL. At least MEET the potential roomate beforehand and get a general impression of what they're like. Though one cannot judge a book by its cover, first impression is still undeniably accurate in many aspects.
Anywayz, good luck.
For strangers, CHOOSE WELL. At least MEET the potential roomate beforehand and get a general impression of what they're like. Though one cannot judge a book by its cover, first impression is still undeniably accurate in many aspects.
Anywayz, good luck.
#15
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Posted 29 March 2006 - 08:09 AM
friends=bad idea(you'll know eachother in the beginning but there's a chance both of u may get sick of each other leading to an unstable friendship)
friends but more of acquaintances=good idea(it's like half stranger, half friend so you'll be comfortable right at the middle)
stranger=risk, but who knows you'll be lucky and meet great people
friends but more of acquaintances=good idea(it's like half stranger, half friend so you'll be comfortable right at the middle)
stranger=risk, but who knows you'll be lucky and meet great people
#16
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Posted 29 March 2006 - 09:32 AM
Dorm with a stranger. It might be a good experience because then you get to meet someone new. 
#17
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Posted 29 March 2006 - 01:32 PM
i'm rather live on my own...i dont like live with any1
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#18
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Posted 29 March 2006 - 07:56 PM
hmmm.... i think its kinda iffy both ways....
dorming with a stranger... you might actually meet a great person and such... some of my friends absoulutely LOVE their roommates they were paired up with/assigned randomly with in the beginning of the college...
but then you could have a roommate/roomates from hell... my friend who just transferred to ucsd dormed with 3 other girls she did not know and she had the most terrible experience (lets just say it involved cops, two court cases and her moving out mid quarter
)
dorming with a friend could be dandy... but it could ruin a friendship or hold you back from meeting new people because of the comfort zone
dorming with a stranger... you might actually meet a great person and such... some of my friends absoulutely LOVE their roommates they were paired up with/assigned randomly with in the beginning of the college...
but then you could have a roommate/roomates from hell... my friend who just transferred to ucsd dormed with 3 other girls she did not know and she had the most terrible experience (lets just say it involved cops, two court cases and her moving out mid quarter
)dorming with a friend could be dandy... but it could ruin a friendship or hold you back from meeting new people because of the comfort zone
#19
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Posted 29 March 2006 - 08:17 PM
QUOTE(PiffleSprite @ Mar 29 2006, 07:56 PM) 
hmmm.... i think its kinda iffy both ways....
dorming with a stranger... you might actually meet a great person and such... some of my friends absoulutely LOVE their roommates they were paired up with/assigned randomly with in the beginning of the college...
but then you could have a roommate/roomates from hell... my friend who just transferred to ucsd dormed with 3 other girls she did not know and she had the most terrible experience (lets just say it involved cops, two court cases and her moving out mid quarter
)dorming with a friend could be dandy... but it could ruin a friendship or hold you back from meeting new people because of the comfort zone
if you don't mind me asking, what was the case about? did the girls haze her or something @@.
so we'll just let them hate
cause they can't stop us babe.
cause they can't stop us babe.
#20
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Posted 29 March 2006 - 08:45 PM
I've dormed with a friend during a foreign exchange experience and dormed w/ a stranger during first yr of college. to be quite honest w/ u, better dorm w/ a stranger. During the foreign exchange, the friend i dormed w/ was my best friend. Despite the fact that we were best friends, i didn't know her living habits. she preferred to take her time w/ everything and while that didn't pose a problem to me before, it did when we started living under the same roof. her living habits completely clashed w/ mine + there were many times i wanted to tell her honestly how i feel about certain situations but just couldn't coz i was afraid i would hurt her feelings and ruin our friendship. rooming w/ a stranger was a much better experience. since we didn't know each other, we decided to set up "rules" from the very beginning and as a result, we knew more about each other through the process. i felt that there was more communication between me and my "stranger" roommate and i was able to verbally voice my opinions without any pressure.
