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Dear Husband John

#1 User is offline   Jangoon 

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 08:11 PM

Dear Husband John:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife



Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging.
Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Lol.. lucky 10million and single!

fUCLA =D
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#2 User is offline   Rosechime 

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 08:16 PM

Haha. That's a "in your face". XDDD
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#3 User is offline   ilovemesomekorean 

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 08:59 PM

HAHAHAHAHA!!

omg that sucks really bad!! well for the stupid girl anyway...
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#4 User is offline   JooLee 

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 09:25 PM

hahahah THATS FREAKIN HILARIOUS!!! ^___^
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#5 User is offline   la creme 

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 10:38 PM

if this ever happened in reality, that would suck.
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this is not the time for messing around. all i want to do is get moody.
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#6 User is offline   Rodarte 

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 11:00 PM

HHAAHAH thats so funny~ Heard before but nevertheless still good for a laugh =D
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#7 User is offline   lollipOp_dOrk 

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 11:32 PM

hahaha xD good one

20 characterrrsss
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#8 User is offline   aymei 

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Posted 02 July 2006 - 11:38 PM

Karma, what goes around comes around.

Thats what she gets for cheating on her husband & not trusting him & leaving him for his tranvestite brother/sister.
Currently loving: Haruma & DBSK and the last but not least SUJU <3
avatar credits: please msg me if it's yours, I forgot your name :(
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#9 User is offline   simply_w4u 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 01:07 AM

ahahaha thats a good one. his single and ready to mingle!

I get back home and you're gone,
Step inside and it's cold,
I've been away so long,
This feels wrong.
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#10 User is offline   vannushka 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 02:15 AM

ouchhhhh serves her right...haha carlaaaaaaa

Thanks Carol for the banner. Fleur rocks for making Owen look sexy!
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#11 User is offline   carol 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 07:55 AM

Hahha that must feel so satisfying.
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#12 User is offline   remorse_angel 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 08:14 AM

Wow O___O. That's pretty fascinating...I'm going to Jamaica in August ^__^.
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#13 User is offline   B0hemian_Sprite 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 08:17 AM

That's so frikkin hilarious.
Please don't forget me. { I'm going away. }
I'm taking a taxi to Kentucky where they don't even know all about me. I just need to feel s a f e.
I've got a thousand sweaters, and shoes, and paintings to hide the skeletons in my way.
But he said, "Slow down, slow down. Think it over, we've all got wretched closets, but silly girl pride kills more than Aids lately."
I said, "Come on, I thought it over. I don't wanna die here. I have no desire to get m♥rried."
Every night I pray for you, don't believe in heaven or that it could be a happy place.
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#14 User is offline   FirstTheWorst 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 08:26 AM

A note to put in my reference book:

Never get Divorced. Or better yet, never get married.
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#15 User is offline   j 0 a N 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 09:25 AM

loll!
woww ~~
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#16 User is offline   Dee 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 09:56 AM

DAMN, that woman got OWNED.

Sucks to be her!

<3 Dee
"You can't control it, it is what it is.[...] I ain't tripping, life is life.
I love life. You live and learn. You just keep growing." - Nas
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#17 User is offline   VioletSauce 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 12:40 PM

Now thats what I'm talking about. LOL
How about them Cowboys?!?!
YG here I come~
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#18 User is offline   xsilentangel 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 02:30 PM

only one word can explain this -----------------> owned.
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#19 User is offline   Absinthe. 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 02:40 PM

HAHAHHA! That's awesome!
大切な思い出
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#20 User is offline   jun;MON 

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Posted 03 July 2006 - 03:11 PM

Sucks to be her. Oh well~
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tweeeeet♥ tumbleeeee!
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