[luap]

1. Three guys died and went to heaven. God appeared before them and said "During your stay in heaven, you will need a car to travel around the vast roads of heaven. Depending on how many times you cheated on your wife will determine the kind of car you will get." So God went to the first man "How many times have you cheated on your wife?" First man said "God you are everywhere... I cheated a hundred times." God gave him the crappiest car possible. God went to the second man and asked the same question. The second man replied "God I cannot lie to you, you know everything, I cheated fifty times." God gave him a less crappier car than the first. God asked the third man how many times he cheated on his wife and the third man said with a big smile "God, I NEVER cheated on my wife." So God gave him a Porsche (a nicer car if you can think of any). The following week, the first and second man find the third man crying by the curb. They go up to him and ask him what was wrong. The third man said "I was driving yesterday when I saw my wife and she was on a scooter."

2. Three guys died and went to heaven. St. Peter appeared before them and said "Before you approach the gates of heaven, you will need to walk through a field of geese. If you happen to step on one before you reach the gates, I will personally bring an ugly woman and lock you and her up for eternity." So the three guys decide to walk. The men just began to walk when the first man steps on a goose. He looks around and found St. Peter walking toward him with an ugly woman by his side. He chains them up and locked them up for eternity. The second man got halfway when he steps on one too. St Peter appeared floating with another ugly woman by his side; he chains them up and locks them up for eternity. The third guy makes it to the gate when St. Peter comes with this gorgeous looking woman. He chains them up and lock them up for eternity. The third guy says "WOW I don't know what I did to deserve this." The woman says "I don't know about you, but I just stepped on a goose."

3. Three guys died and went to heaven. God appeared before them and said "Sorry guys, heaven has been way too crowded with the low life expectancy on earth, so I can only take one of you guys in." The men pleaded to show mercy upon their poor souls, but God was not moved. "So they asked him how he would determine which man was to enter. God said "Only the purest man may enter heaven. To determine this, you shall all be tested by sitting down with your pants down and attaching a bell to your willie. I shall lay a porno magazine before you and if that bell rings, you will go straight to damnnation." So the first guy pulls his pants down and sits down with the bell attached. A porno magazine is put on his lap "ring ring" and poof, the first man went to hell. The second man sat down with a bell attached, the porno magazine was laid on his lap. The second man lasted a couple minutes when he too gave in with the ring of the bell and joined the first man. The third man followed the same procedure as the others, but the bell would not ring. He sat there for a good hour and the bell ceased to ring. God quite pleased said "You are truly a flawless creation, Welcome to Heaven!" The third man went to the men's room, "ring ring."

[saiga]

LOL
so i'm guessing in the 3rd joke, the third guy was gay?

lol the second one was my favorite one

[KyOotKrnAng3l]

puhahaha all funny especially the 3rd one

[soupinmychickenoodle]

hahaah these were all very funny! but I liked the third one the best xD

[Kimmie]

Hahah, those were good.

[tOasty]

Haha. The third one was a good one. xD

[STAR_x.]

LOL i like the 2nd & 3rd ones the best ^^

i dont get the first one, 3rd guy tho

[darkanqelxp]

lol....i like the second one....

[ponkie]

Dang, I feel bad for the third man from the first one. 100 times still get you a car. His wife is a slut.
Even GOD does not know the man was gay? Hehe, now I'm scared.

[luap]

haha, this "God" is just some far away fabricated god XD no worries.

[wh0-care5]

ohhh i didnt' get the third onee. hes gay. okay now i get it.

[Janice<3]

hahaha poor guy in the first jokee~
LMFAO i love the last one

[Indogurl05]

i love alll.. hahaha~ i didn't get the 2nd one at first, but then i got it.. hehehehe.. dang, i feel bad for the 3rd guy in the 1st joke.. she's on a scooter, it must mean she's been cheating on him THOUSAND times!! hahahha~

[[[Fallen--Star]]]

Ahahahahaa.... LMFAO his wife... OMG... She must've cheated sooo much... XD puahaha, I loved the last one XD

[anne,]

OMG THE FIRST ONE IS HILARIOUS!

[miriyum]

lol snot that funneh.

[luap]

HEY! I like my jokes... at least I know SOMEONE or some PEOPLE enjoyed them ahem. heh heh summer 05 is long gone~

[chubzzy]

LOL... all three are good jokes~ i love them!

[__nerdiiest]

Hahaha, I didnt get the third one at first, but now I do.
Poor guy in the first one. That's so sad.

[Doanh]

hehehe all three of them are funny, nice one.