I was wondering if anyone can proofread my essay. ;x ASAP if possible. Thanks in advanced~
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Can Someone Proofread My Essay? First essay college..
#1
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Posted 01 October 2006 - 08:31 PM
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#2
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Posted 01 October 2006 - 10:34 PM
if you just read your essay out loud you'll find some awkward sentences that could flow better or are just grammatically incorrect. for example take this sentence:
"I am concerned with other things that deal with pollution of the environment such as smoking because it harmful to not only people, but animals and plants as well"
"I am concerned with other things that deal with pollution of the environment such as smoking because it harmful to not only people, but animals and plants as well"
#3
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Posted 01 October 2006 - 11:16 PM
i skimmed through your essay and a couple sentences were pretty awkward.
for ex. these 2 paragraphs.
i'm guessing you were in a hurry so u havnt read it over yet.
there are some minor things in there like..missing a word or sentences not making sense, etc.etc
o~ and watch out for parallelism.
for ex. these 2 paragraphs.
QUOTE
However, I was not compelled to change my beliefs and actions in an instant. I agree that people need to be aware the dangers from careless actions and man made products are causing on Earth. Usually, an event or incident will dramatically affect people personally will have a stronger impression on them. I suggest that essays should have an emotional factor to trigger or stimulate thoughts for the reader to realize how serious subject is in our society.
I am concerned with other things that deal with pollution of the environment such as smoking because it harmful to not only people, but animals and plants as well. I feel helpless that I cannot prevent people from smoking. It is ridiculous that some college students and staff can light a cigarette when there are obvious signs that state "No Smoking Area" everywhere on campus while administrators are not doing anything to fix this situation. This is equivalent to allow people who work at a daycare center to smoke around infants and toddlers. The plants and animals also absorb this contaminated air that will greatly affect their health. I do want to live in clean and ideal environment, but it will difficult for everyone to take the time to be cooperative and willing to make sacrifices for nature everyday.
I am concerned with other things that deal with pollution of the environment such as smoking because it harmful to not only people, but animals and plants as well. I feel helpless that I cannot prevent people from smoking. It is ridiculous that some college students and staff can light a cigarette when there are obvious signs that state "No Smoking Area" everywhere on campus while administrators are not doing anything to fix this situation. This is equivalent to allow people who work at a daycare center to smoke around infants and toddlers. The plants and animals also absorb this contaminated air that will greatly affect their health. I do want to live in clean and ideal environment, but it will difficult for everyone to take the time to be cooperative and willing to make sacrifices for nature everyday.
i'm guessing you were in a hurry so u havnt read it over yet.
there are some minor things in there like..missing a word or sentences not making sense, etc.etc
o~ and watch out for parallelism.
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