… he’s going to ask for RESPECT CUZ HE AIN’T NO IDOL BUT LEGIT THUG RAPPER YA HEAR?
When you give him the respect, he’ll probably ask for HOES AND BITCHES TO SUCK ON BANANAS AND TWERK UNTIL THEY GET OSTEOPOROSIS.
When he’s finished, he’ll ask for A STYLIST THAT IS SO GANGSTA SHE SEWS CONFEDERATE FLAG PATCHES ON HIS DESIGNER CLOTHES.
Then he’ll want to look into a mirror to make sure HIS GRILLZ ARE PROPERLY FITTING ON HIS BAD ASS MOUTH.
When he looks in the mirror, he might notice that THERE AREN’T ENOUGH CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES IN THIS SONG ABOUT TOUGH COOKIES. DAMN STRAIGHT CHOCOLATE CHIP IS THE TOUGHEST COOKIE. NO ROOM FOR MADELEINES AND THIN MINTS IN THIS BATHTUB.
So he’ll probably ask for more cookies BE BROUGHT TO HIS RAPPER BUDDY’S MOUTH BY THE BANANA GIRL.
Since his friend had a cookie, he will FORCE HIS RAPPER FRIEND TO DO PUSH UPS WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE HE SHOULD BE DOING CRUNCHES INSTEAD.
After his friend has taken off and put his shirt back on again, he will want to THROW HIS BLOCK B MEMBERS A BONE BY LETTING THEM APPEAR IN THE VIDEO but he might get carried away and ONLY BRING THEM BACK ONCE MAYBE TWICE.
When he’s forgotten about the rest of his members he will DROP NAMES TO LEGITIMIZE HIS K-RAP STREET CRED. THEN Y’ALL RECOGNIZE HE IS THE KING BECAUSE HE OVERCAME LEGAL BATTLES AND CONTROVERSY.
Then he will realize that HE WANTS TO PLAY POKER IN A BILL COSBY SWEATER. STYLIST, WHERE IS MY BILL COSBY SWEATER?
To go with his sweater he will WANT TO BE APPRECIATED FOR HIS FASHION-FORWARD STYLES IN THE ANTIQUE BATHROOM.
When he’s done with that, he’ll realize that HE STILL NEEDS THE RESPECT WHICH IS WHY HE WILL REPEAT “TOUGH COOKIE” OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL IT GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD AND IN YOUR MIND THAT ZICO IS A TOUGH COOKIE. KNA WHAT I’M SAYIN’?
[On a serious note, I know some of you want me to address the controversy that international fans have with this song. Zico clearly intended this song to fall in the category of rap/hip-hop, a genre full of offensive words and puffed-up boasts. As for his choice of clothing, blame Kanye. For me, I was more bothered by the fact that there wasn’t a single English speaker in his team that could have questioned his choice of the phrase “tough cookie.” But that’s just me.]
The opinions expressed in this editorial are solely those of the author.