Ah, welcome, my dear. You have come here to receive the wise counsel of Madame Noona, have you not? After a tremulous year of scandals and controversy, you wonder what this year of the goat will be like in the realm of Korean entertainment. Of course this was what you were just thinking, Madame Noona knows.
Come, sit down, and Madame Noona will share what she sees in her crystal ball that is totally not a goldfish bowl turned upside down over dry ice. As I gaze into the mist I will use my sixth Noona sense to see into the future, into what will happen in 2015.
I see it all. It will be a very interesting year. Here is what I predict will happen:
- After a string of moderately successful solo singles, K-pop groups will be reunited and make comebacks, starting with SHINee.
- Another 90s group will make a comeback, minus one member (who can’t promote due to some sort of legal troubles).
- CL will make her American debut (slightly later than scheduled), and her song will do well in YouTube views and make it on the American music charts. Her American debut will seem promising, but her second single will be overshadowed by some major event, despite the song being actually better than her debut. Towards the end of the year, 2NE1 will release a mini-album that will include some of the songs CL would have released if she had made it big.
- An agency will use late night ramen as an explanation for a swollen face that is poorly hidden by sunglasses. Never mind that her face looks considerably different than it was in 2014.
- A minor scandal involving a TVXQ member will hit the news, but SM will be quick to deny and cover up.
- Dispatch will “reveal” a relationship that they have been holding onto for a few months, but right after several other tabloids will reveal gossip of their own. Or vice versa, either way there will be a gossip war and it will all take place in the span of about a month.
- Yang Hyun Suk will make some sort of apology for one of his artists and the management of his company, but it won’t be for something people really want an apology about.
- One of the Girls’ Generation members will announce the break up with her celebrity boyfriend, months after it actually ended.
- Luhan and Kris will take a selfie together and share it on either one of their Instagram accounts. Immediately after, different pairings of EXO members will flood all the social networking sites with their couple selcas.
- EXO will have a hit song mostly due to the strength of their fandom. Suho and/or Lay will cry at the end of a music show.
- For whatever reason, Yoo Seung Jun will make the news, even if he isn’t really doing anything in Korea.
- Park Jin Young will become a father. All JYP artists will tweet their well wishes.
- Hyeri will be replaced as the Princess of Cute by a member from either AOA or A Pink.
- Another hip hop artists will be involved in a drug scandal, most likely connected to Bumkey.
- miss A will make a comeback and the song will be catchy as hell, but they won’t promote very much in Korea.
- Several Wonder Girls members will meet up and share a picture they took together, sparking rumors of a comeback but even JYP will tell everyone to stop beating a dead horse.
- Pledis’ SEVENTEEN or YG‘s girl group will finally make their debut, one or the other but not both.
These are my predictions, what do you think? Do you have predictions of your own, even ones that may contradict mine? Go ahead, share them with me, and we will see who truly has the gift of foresight as this year goes on.
Madame Noona will come back to this post next year to see how she did. Will she be totally off or scarily accurate? We’ll see in a year. Meanwhile, you can talk to her on Twitter and ask her questions.
*The opinions expressed in this editorial are solely those of the author.