Hyoyeon On The Pressures She Felt As An Idol And Her Drop In Confidence After Debut
On the August 24 episode of JTBC4’s “Secret Sister,” Hyoyeon talked about feeling the pressures of being an idol and the subsequent loss of confidence that she experienced.
Hyoyeon’s “sister” on the show is Apink’s Hayoung, and on the latest episode, the two ordered in and looked at old footage of themselves and news articles while enjoying their food. Seeing footage from the beginning of her career, Hyoyeon said to Hayoung, “After doing variety shows, I started to become more careful, because I was afraid of making a mistake. Even if you do something right one hundred times, as soon as you make a mistake, that will follow you around, so I was always thinking about that.” She revealed that even if she were to make a harmless mistake that made people laugh, those things felt like big mistakes to her. But she no longer feels that way, said Hyoyeon.
Seeing old news articles and interviews that she did, Hyoyeon said that the change over time in things she thought were funny was fascinating. Her humor isn’t the only thing that changed, however. Hyoyeon noticed that her confidence also suffered within a couple years of her debut with Girls’ Generation.
In an interview with the show, Hyoyeon said, “I was really surprised seeing [the old article]. Even in that article, I was extremely confident. [At the time] I thought, ‘I worked so hard to get to this point.’”
Hyoyeon continued, “But it’s sad seeing how, in articles from two to four years later, I seemed like I was worried.” Crying, Hyoyeon said, “Now, my 2009 self just seems like my little sister.”
“Then, I just didn’t think about it being hard. As time passed, I forgot about it, and as I was working, I thought all I had to do was work hard in the present. But thinking back to when I was trying to forget about the hard times made me sad.”
When asked what she would want to say to her younger self, Hyoyeon said, “I don’t think she would’ve listened. Rather than something to say, I think I would just want to be there for her. Pat her on the back and say she’s doing a good job.”