Ten "Prime" Comparisons of Men to Meat!

Nov 15, 2010

“Delicious!” “Juicy!” Keep in mind these are words to describe MEN, not food! Occasionally the word “manmeat” gets thrown around and it got me thinking… If men were meat, what type of meat would they fall under? Meatloaf? Galbi? Prime steak? Well, here is my very take on it! It’s my totally-not-meant-to-be-taken-seriously list of the top ten MEN to MEAT examples! Going forward in NO particular order…

# 1 Nichkhun (2PM) – Meatloaf

Why is Nichkhun meatloaf? Because meatloaf reminds us of home! It’s cozy. It’s got that warm, comfort food feeling. That’s why they always say “mom’s meatloaf.” Nichkhun has that cozy, homey feeling that we sometimes yearn for! That’s why Nichkhun is meatloaf!

# 2 T.O.P (Big Bang) – GQMF Steak

Why is T.O.P a GQ M***** F***** steak? Because he IS a GQMF! He’s got those icy, cool eyes and that occasional but totally unintentional smirk. T.O.P reminds me of an expensive steak at a TOP notch restaurant… lets say on the TOP floor of a TOP hotel, like that one in Dubai that looks like a shark fin. That’s why T.O.P is a GQMF steak.

#3 Siwon (Super Junior) – Man Meat

Siwon is the ultimate example of man meat. He doesn’t overdo GQMF and he remains beastly. When the word “real man” comes to mind so does Siwon. He is definitely a guy’s guy (have you seen his thrusts?? that’s not a coincidence!!) and thus he is simply man meat. Everyone wants a piece of that.

#4 Lee Jun Ki – Finely Sliced Steak

Why is Lee Jun Ki finely sliced steak? Lee Jun Ki is very delicate, princely, and known to be a member of the Finer Things Club. He would be like this steak here, royal and designed for a prince, but finely sliced to perfection. Stay classy!

# 5 Eli (U-Kiss) – Higher Tastes Burger

Just any burger will not do! It has to have some effort put into it. Eli can’t upgrade to steak just yet. He’s still young and has a long way to go before I can put him in the steak category. But he’s still hot and juicy for his age, so instead of a fast food burger I’ll upgrade him to a classy restaurant style burger.

# 6 G-Dragon (Big Bang) – Raw Wagyu Beef

Wagyu beef is the most expensive beef in the world. It’s very rare. G-Dragon is known for his unique style, his endorsement of luxury brands and his raw performance style, therefore he is like this wagyu beef, except raw. Like this meat, he can’t be eaten. But it’s nice to imagine what it might taste like cooked.

# 7 Shindong (Super Junior) – Galbi

Who is more Korean BBQ than Shindong?? Answer: NO ONE. Shindong is the ultimate endorser of Korean BBQ. He is the pride and joy of Korean beef. If Shindong were a food he’d be galbi. Never ending fattens-you-up beefy goodness!

#8 Wooyoung (2PM) – Microwaveable meat

OK somebody’s gotta be the microwaveable meat! I like Wooyoung but he’s got that quick, easy personality that makes me think “Hmm, this boy’s in a hurry! He just wants to get things done!” Yet he still takes the easy route. What’s quick and what’s easy? DUH! Hungry Man microwaveable meat!!

# 9 Kevin (U-Kiss) – Chicken McNuggets

Chicken nuggets are so precious! They may be low quality meat but they’re also dunkable and fun-sized! Plus AND plus! Kevin’s child like cuteness makes him the perfect Chicken Nuggets comparison. He gives off an innocent nostalgia that can only be described as stupid happy-go-lucky kids eating 100 calories a minute!

#10 Doojoon (Beast) – Medium Rare Steak

Doojoon is by all means a man! In fact he’s the man of the hour! All the ladies want a piece. Does this steak look juicy? YES. Is Doojoon so hot he can melt plastic? YES. Size counts! Like this steak, there is SO MUCH MEAT on that boy that it’s too much to take in!

BONUS!!!!!

Taecyeon (2PM) – Smoking Baby Back Ribs

When has Taecyeon I dunno… NOT looked angry…? Answer: NEVER. He is beastly! His gaze pierces organs!! He can rip a bear’s arm off!! He GROWLS when he says “yes!” Taecyeon is FIERCE. Fierce like THESE RIBS!!!