Noona Says: This Is What My Perfect K-Pop Boy Band Would Look Like

I love boy bands. I was a huge Backstreet Boys fan and then I got into K-pop boy bands, so I have a history of studying boy bands. Boy bands are great because you get a selection and a variety of cute boys to choose from or pair together. Also, it is very difficult to find one person who has the trifecta of K-pop:

That’s why groups are so popular with the factories of K-pop. You may not have one idol who can sing (or rap), dance, and look good in skinny jeans, but you can sure find a cute kid who can sing and pair him up with another cute kid who can dance. Have more than two of them, and you got all the bases covered (plus you can harmonize and hide the poor dancers in the back).

Sports fans have their “fantasy” games, where they can make their own roster of the perfect team. Why not have one for K-pop? I call it “Fantasy K-Pop” and here are the house rules:

Rule #1: The boy band must consist of 5 members, each with their own specific position.

Rule #2: The positions are: Rapper, Vocalist, Dancer, Leader, and Maknae. 

Rule #3: You can only use one member per group 

Rule #4: The member must come from an active group (No picking out members from H.O.T. or something)

(For my fantasy group, I also added a special Noona rule to make things more interesting)

Noona Rule: Each member must have the visuals of a true K-Pop idol. That’s right, they must fit their role AND be ridiculously good looking. 

I spent the whole week brainstorming and comparing groups, and right now, I am pretty satisfied with my choices. Keep in mind I didn’t just pick my favorite rappers and vocalists, I picked ones I thought were genuinely talented and good looking, but also would fit well together in a group.

1. The Rapper : This is a self-explanatory position. For reasons I haven’t been able to comprehend, K-pop loves having rap in their songs. With the growing trend of “idol hip hop,” rappers are now equally as important vocalists.

My choice: Bobby from iKon

Bobby hasn’t even officially debuted in his group yet, but this kid is everywhere! He was the winner of “Show Me the Money” and collaborated with Hi Suhyun. I love his moon eye smile and watching the music video for “I’m Different” made me want to be sixteen again. Not only that, he has some serious lyrical skill with a raspy rap voice. He is definitely someone to watch out for (and people are already watching out for him. Anyone else following those idol rap diss battles?)

Runners Up: I originally picked T.O.P but then a friend pointed out he doesn’t fit in the general age group of the other members. Plus, I have a feeling T.O.P is sort of done with the idol life and more interested in becoming Choi Seung Hyun the actor.

2. The Vocalist: Although most of the group members must be able to at least stay on pitch, there is usually one or two members that are excellent singers to really carry the song vocally. This was the hardest position to pick because there are lot of good-looking decent singers and a lot of decent-looking great singers, but it was hard to find an idol that was equally adorable and talented.

My choice: D.O from EXO

Sometimes I look at D.O and I don’t know what to do with him. This tumblr post pretty much sums it up for me. Right now, Koreans love Kyungsoo, and I can see him become more popular as he gets into more acting projects. While he is adorable and fun to watch, he has this great powerful singing voice. This is still my favorite EXO song. Once I spent way too many minutes watching clips of D.O. getting interrupted with his own voice cracks, but now I think it happens less often which means he’s also improved since his debut.

Runners Up: Like I said, many vocalists and many visuals but not many who are clearly both. Different people suggested G.O., Daehyun, Jinwoon, and others.

3. The Dancer: Choreography is a huge part of K-pop and an important element that makes K-pop performances such fun to watch. The dancer sometimes gets special dance solos in songs.

My choice: Taemin from SHINee

Taemin is one of those rare idols who have the face, the voice, and the feet. He has grown up so much from being the weird baby of SHINee.  I don’t think I could have predicted that Taemin would be the first to go solo, but with every album he continued to get bigger vocal roles in the songs, and he did well covering for Jonghyun when he was in the car accident. I was impressed but not surprised by his “Danger” performances (even when they were live), because that’s what I expected from a SHINee member.

Runners Up: My first choice was Kai, because that kid loves dancing so much and you can tell. He’s also so beautiful, but I had to keep the rule of one member from each group, and I needed a vocalist more than I needed a dancer. Lee Joon also came to mind, but he’s a bit older and who knows what’s happening with MBLAQ right now.

4. The Leader – This position usually goes to the oldest of the group and is often responsible for the groups and represents them at public speaking events. K-pop leaders tend to be a little…moody? Has anyone else noticed this? They also have the all important role of starting their group motto.

My choice: Rome from C-Clown

I know. This is probably the one that surprises you, it surprises me too. C-Clown is not a very well-known group, and if I am to be totally honest, I would not have chosen him if I had not met him and the rest of the group. I had a chance to interview them, and oh my goodness, they were so adorable. Not only that, Rome had all the staff crushing on him because he was really sweet and you could see how much effort he put into the leading the group. If you watch the interview, you can see him guiding the other members and making sure they’re all answering the questions. He’s also gotten pretty good looking, so good looking that I had to look up his age in hope that I wasn’t THAT much of a noona to him. Also, that Australian accent!

Runners Up: It really came down to him and Jinyoung from B1A4. I really like Jinyoung, and I think he’s a talented song writer and a good leader to the group. But when it came down to it, I decided to follow my eyes and picked Rome because I thought he was cuter. That’s it. Superficial, I know. Someone also suggest JB from GOT7. He’s cute too, but “Dream High 2” ruined him for me (that drama ruined a lot of things for me. I didn’t even finish it.).

5. The Baby (Maknae): This is probably the least official position, because while you need vocalists and a leader, you don’t really need someone to official be the youngest. However, as a noona I can see the baby of the group gets a lot of love and you do need someone in charge of aegyo. Also, a leader/maknae pairing can KILL fangirls.

My choice: Zelo from B.A.P

I choose to stay away from Zelo. When I first saw him in “Never Gave Up” I was like who is adorable giant with too much eyeliner? I looked him up, and when I found out he was born in 1996 I closed the tab on this jail bait and swore that I would never follow whatever group he is in in fear that I became THAT kind of noona. Since then, he has gotten famous as the very tall but very young rapper in B.A.P and he still wears a lot of eyeliner. His stylist likes to use his hair like a coloring book.

Runners Up: I didn’t even consider anyone else, that’s how much I secretly like Zelo.

These are my picks! What are yours? Please share your roster (following the house rules) below!

CallMeN00NA couldn’t think of a name for her perfect idol group. She’ll be taking a break for the Holidays but will see you in the New Year! Meanwhile, you can talk to her on Twitter and ask her questions. 

*The opinions expressed in this editorial are solely those of the author.