Former AOA Member Mina Writes About Trying To Receive A Sincere Apology
Former AOA member Mina has posted on Instagram to express her struggles as she tries to receive a proper apology.
Warning: discussion of suicide and self-harm.
In July, Mina shared a series of posts in which she wrote that she had been bullied by her former member Jimin for several years. Mina shared that the AOA members including Jimin had visited her in person to talk things out after her posts and Jimin had apologized, but even though she wrote that she had decided to accept Jimin’s apology, she added that she was unsure of whether it had been sincere. Jimin went on to share a written apology, which Mina responded to. Jimin later left the group.
On August 6, Mina wrote on Instagram about her frustrations over the insincerity of the apology and the actions of those at AOA’s agency FNC Entertainment. In a second post, she talked about why she had unfollowed the other members of the group and described some of the members as “bystanders.”
Later that day, after deleting those posts, she wrote the following message on Instagram:
You ask if I’m turning everyone into a perpetrator because I feel like a victim? No, I only spoke the truth, I never called them perpetrators, I said they were bystanders. It’s the truth that they were bystanders. Of course I’ve made mistakes too, maybe many. I’ve got a personality problem too. But isn’t it too much for a sane person to spend a nerve-racking 11 years and end up with mental illnesses and not hear a single sincere apology from anyone? Am I too self-centered? Am I hoping for too much? Am I thinking too much about myself because I’m having a hard time? But I really want to receive a sincere apology. What has my family done wrong? They’re scared, they cry, and they say they want to stop coming to the emergency room. But still my family has never said a word to that place or that person. Today I tried to at least have a conversation with the people at that place, but I can’t get in contact with anyone and I’m scared too. I’m scared of how I might become more wrecked and I’m scared of what I might do. I’ve now told the world while not in my right mind about the things that I couldn’t even tell my family and friends for 11 years, and in the end it’s become my fault again. I’m sorry. But it’s been really, really hard for me… It’s so hard.
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나 피해자로 느껴지니까 모두 가해자로 만들어버리냐고? 아니 난 사실만 말했고 가해자라고 말한적 없고 방관자라고 했어 사실이잖아 방관한거는 나도 잘 못 분명 있겠지 많겠지 내 성격에도 문젝가 있을거야 하지만 멀쩡한 애 11년간 피 말려가면서 정신병이란 정신병은 다 들게 만들어놓고 그 누구도 진심어린 사과 한마디 없는건 너무 한거 아닐까..? 내가 너무 이기적인걸까 너무 큰걸 바라는걸까 내가 힘들다고 너무 나만 생각하는걸까 근데 나 정말 진심어린 사과 받고싶어 우리 가족은 무슨 죄야 무섭고 울고 응급실 그만 오고 싶대 그래도 그 곳이나 그 상대방한데 말 한마디 하지 않은 가족들이야 난 오늘 그 곳 사람들과 대화라도 나눠보려고 했으나 전부 연락두절이고 나도 무서워 나를 어떻게 더 망가뜨릴지 무섭고 내가 내 자신을 어떻게 할지도 무서워 11년동안 가족, 친구에게도 말 못했던거 이제는 제 정신이 아닌상태로 세상에 말했더니 돌아오는 건 결국 또 내 탓이 되버렸네 미안해요 근데 나 정말 정말 힘들었어요..힘들어요 아주 많이
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