Dramabeans Presents Lessons From Dramaland: How To Be 15

In celebration of Soompi’s 15th birthday, I asked some of my favorite K-Entertainment bloggers to gift us with a “15-themed” post. Dramabeans is a K-Drama blog that needs no introduction, though you may not know that it was started by a Soompier who started recapping 2007’s “Dalja’s Spring” on our very own K-Drama forum. It’s since become the authoritative voice in K-Drama recapping and analysis, and is my go-to site for drama-related news. I hope you enjoy this special series! -soomp

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Dear Soompi,

You’re fifteen years old now, rejoice! You’re now eligible for your driver’s permit, maybe heading toward your first homecoming dance, and have a whole year to plan the Sweet Sixteen to end all Sweet Sixteens. You’re also now old enough to advisably watch the stuff dramaland has been marketing to you for the last five years. I know, that probably makes it automatically less cool, but wait — dramaland can be useful! Admittedly it’s not so helpful in defeating acne and hormones, but it does offer up some valuable life lessons from those who have navigated the shark-infested waters of high school before you. Listen to your unnis and hyungs, and learn.

Lessons From Dramaland: How To Be 15

1 – Fall in love. But pick wisely, because you’re stuck with your first choice forever. Our advice: Try to avoid the assholes and psychopaths. Though it helps if they’re screaming rich, or maybe royalty.


2 – But before you fall in love, cross-reference your family trees. We wouldn’t say no to blood tests, either. You never know if Mom was a hussy.

3 – Never, for the love of god EVER, get over your first love. You might run into them later, and where’s the fun in heartbreaking nostalgia if you’ve moved on with life like a healthy person? (They also make really good distractions from less important duties like ruling kingdoms or making functional decisions.)


4 – If you lose your first love at fifteen, make sure to find a new love who looks exactly like her. This kind of love is totally healthy.


5 – But don’t worry if you missed your one big chance, because you can make fifty more. Renovatio!

6 – Homeroom heals all wounds: Having an epic falling out with your best friend in middle school just means reuniting in high school will be that much more epic. Crying into your ramyun makes it taste better.


7 – Appreciate the teacher who never gives up on you, even when you’re asking for it. You’ll never deserve it but that won’t stop them from trying, and that’s why it’ll change your life.


8 – If you fall in love with them, keep it secret because pining in private is dreamy. And otherwise it’s illegal.

9 – Or declare it to her just in case she might love you back.


10 – But make sure she loves your soul, not just your body. (Even if it IS a nice body.)


11 – Important life moments should be memorialized in song. Learn how to dance and play basketball at the same time: It’ll come in handy for all the spontaneous dance-offs you will encounter later in life.

12 – Start a garage band with your best buds. It will solve all your problems, except for the ones it creates.


13 – If you stalk your crush enough, eventually he will love you back.


14 – If that doesn’t work, you can always disguise yourself as a boy, trick him into a homoerotic identity crisis, and be romancin’ roomies.

 

15 – You’ll never love anyone the way you loved Oppa when you were fifteen, so use it. Slashfic can get you into college.

Love,
javabeans & girlfriday

Don’t forget to visit Dramabeans.com for K-Drama recaps, news, podcasts, and other good stuff.