Lordbordem’s Weekly Ramblings - Solo Awareness Day

Good news! I managed to somehow avoid being stabbed to death with a rusty nail file. Something to do with “It wasn’t as bad as I imagined” along with “ticket prices to Australia are too expensive.” Anyway I’m back this week and what a special week it is. Love is in the air, the couples are galloping in the fields and chocolates are being consumed in unhealthy levels. 

However! We mustn’t forget the other brave souls, the valiant warriors in these desperate times. Yes, I’m talking about us solos. Along with Christmas, Valentines Day is our most difficult period of the year. Thus, in celebration of all the wonderful solos in the world, I have prepared a list of songs that exemplifies the joys and wonders of living life merrily alone. 

Oh yes, special thanks this week go to the president and vice president of the Soompi Forever Alone’s Club (melkimx and CallMeN00NA), whose wisdom and years of experience have helped me weather this difficult time. I thank them and our other brave solo writers for providing song suggestions.

Very Important Disclaimer Stuff: The writer is not really an expert at anything much and is just a mere casual fan of pretty much everything. The writer has been known to be rather weird and cynical at times. The writer’s opinions certainly DO NOT reflect the opinion of Soompi’s news team or Soompi as a whole. Trust me, the rest of the team is quite normal.

Just to make this list a bit more interesting, I’m going to split it into the Kubler-Ross Model, A.k.a the five stages of grief. Each of the stages will be a reflection of the stages of becoming a professional solo.

Denial

Song: Davichi’s “8282“

Noteworthy Lyric: “…I miss you, I cannot live without you, Gimmie A Call Baby Babe~ Call me right now~ Gimmie A Call Baby Babe~ …”

Why It’s Here: Now here is a song that shows the pained soul of an individual that have yet to accept the glorious fact that they have been unhooked from the chains of a loving relationship.
While they continue to desperately wait for their love to return, it is the job of us solos to lead them towards the path of righteousness and solo-hood. 

Song: Epik High’s “Fan”

Noteworthy Lyric: “Even if I can’t have you (At least in my mind), Even if I can’t touch you (Even if it’s just an empty dream), Even if I can’t say it (Hidden at a distances), You know I do (That I love you), even if you don’t know who I am”

Why It’s Here: Here we see a subject that has yet to cherish the joys of being comfortably alone, instead reverting to somewhat perverse methods to steer away from the promised land.
It’s only a matter of time when they realise that love by imagination is a futile venture, especially when they can start dreaming about fluffy kittens and dancing penguins instead. 

Anger

Song: Girls’ Generation “Run Devil Run”

Noteworthy Lyric: “Half of the world are men, it makes no difference if you’re gone.  I’m going to wait by myself for a guy who will only look at me.”

Why it’s on the list: Such venom, such pride, such hate. You can just see the anger of being newly single pouring out of this song.
They hope that venting their anger towards their ex-partner will help them endure this new found freedom. The song even tries to stay optimistic, looking towards the future for a new and better relationship.
What they don’t realise then is their future relationship will be me, myself and I. 

Song: Jerry K “You’re Not A Lady”

Noteworthy Lyric: “I don’t find you charming when you say you can’t live without me, I don’t see you as a lady, you’ve not grown up yet.”

Why it’s on the list: This was recommended to me by one of our writers. We see a guy troubled by his current relationship, about a partner that he believes is not up to par. However he is missing the big picture. The girl isn’t the problem; he just misses the sweet lovely embrace of being at home by himself, the joys of not being at the beck and call of his partner 24/7. The only way for him to resolve his anger is to realise this and take the leap towards freedom.

Bargaining

Song: Miss A’s “I don’t need a man”

Noteworthy Lyric: “I don’t need a man, I don’t need a man, I can live fine without a man”

Why it’s on the list: Ah yes, the denial approach to dealing with every day problems. This is more about convincing yourself than anything else. Say it enough times and perhaps it will come true? In either case you’re slowly adapting to the world of independence. 

Song: 2NE1’s “I don’t care”

Noteworthy lyric: “I don’t care, stop it no matter where you are and what you’re doing, I really don’t care so move aside.”

Why it’s on the list: If there is one group that deserves to be on this list, it’s 2NE1. They are the poster children of the solo movement. This song is a prime example of their dogged enthusiasm for the glorious solo life. I don’t care? You may not mean it sincerely now but you will be soon enough.

Depression

Song: CN Blue’s “I’m a Loner”

Noteworthy Lyric: “I’m a loner~ I’m a loner~”

Why it’s on the list: A true soloist don’t describe themselves in such pitiful manner. We are proud of our introverted nature and boast about it. The song however seems to wallow in the sorrow of being alone and not being in love. The key to true happiness will become apparent once you break away from this moment of depression. 

Song: Hyung Don And Daejun “Please Meet With Me”

Noteworthy Lyric: “Please meet with me, You have nothing to do as well, you’re alone as well.”

Why it’s on the list: The final futile struggle against the wonder of solitude. The last attempts to find a noteworthy partner to escape from being forever alone. It’s one of the most heartbreaking scenes, a desperate struggle against the blissfully inevitable. 

Acceptance

Song: Jang Gi Ha and The Faces “Cheap Coffee”

Noteworthy Lyric: Too many good lines to list, just go look it up. It’s beautiful.

Why it’s on the list: If 2NE1 is the poster child of the solo movement, then Jang Gi Ha and the Faces are the idols of solos across the world. Their songs exemplifies the joys and wonders of living forever alone. Cheap coffee? Check. Old soggy coke? Check. It’s a perfect description of the glorious carefree life of a solo soul.

Song: Noh Hong Chul “I have no problems” (Original by Hwang Kyu Young)

Noteworthy Lyric: “It was very tough and lonely right, that was all just practice. I will not fall over, I have no problems.” 

Why it’s on the list: We now reach the zenith of our solo lifestyle. The combination of the extremely single, extremely positive Noh Hong Chul and this song of joy really exemplifies the mystique of the independent lifestyle. This is a love song to solos all over the world and our national anthem.

We shall end today with the great teachings of our great solo master.
The Great Kim Jae Dong tells us that “there is no reason that you shouldn’t be happy. You’re not unhappy because you’re alone, nor are you happy because you’re a couple. Happiness is decided on your own accord.”
His revered “Lonely People Commemoration” states that “If you’re alone right now, then enjoy being alone. If you’re with someone, then enjoy their company. I hope we become unconstrained. We are all one.” Enjoy the rest of the week.

*Lordbordem is the multi award winner in the grand national Koala fighting championships. He also writes the occasional articles on Soompi to help with Koala shock. 9 out of 10 doctors and readers now regards this to be a bad decision.